Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Four years ago I had a good life I think. But I had episodes of depression where I would become listless and reclusive. I even believed, as well as said to people, that I could drop off the face of the earth and no one would notice. Back then I had a great career, a loving wife and family, a nice home and cars, and great friends. Now all of that is gone. In the last four years I lost my wife, then my job, my house, and most of my family has nothing to do with me. I was not worried when I lost my job because I was a very respected scientist in my field, but after 4 years I still cannot find a job and rarely get interviewed. I see absolutely no hope for improvement at this point. If I have not found a job at this point, one will never come along. No woman wants to date a guy that's broke, and no family wants to be burdened with a guy like that either.
Right now I think I am depressed. Also, I am angry at the world because I feel I have so much to give, so much more work as a scientist, so much more beauty to share as an artist, and so much love to give friends and family, but no one seems to want that, or care about it. I see not one bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Can anyone tell me how to find it?
Right now I think I am depressed. Also, I am angry at the world because I feel I have so much to give, so much more work as a scientist, so much more beauty to share as an artist, and so much love to give friends and family, but no one seems to want that, or care about it. I see not one bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Can anyone tell me how to find it?
What's bad is when a friend starts giving me the "aw things will get better I just know it!" routine, and I sit them down and tell them everything, they look at me gap-mouthed and say, "uh ...wow. You're right."
I had no will to do anything, I didn't even keep myself clean and tidy. I couldn't find the motivation to bother with myself.
One day I found myself taking as many pills I could get into me.
After a short stay in hospital I had a crisis team who were amazing. (I'm not suggesting you go down this route) I was taken out for 2 hours every week, they tried taking me to garden centres as that was my old passion. I had no interest in it at all and couldn't wait to get home.
Then by chance there was a modern art exhibition on at the local university. I asked to be taken there and a light bulb went on. I liked painting but hadn't done any for years, it took me weeks to eventually find all my old paints and brushes, I put them in a place where I could see them but knew I didn't have to touch them. Then I stretched some art paper and left it staring blankly at me.
Over the next few weeks I began to see a picture on the paper, it was still in my head.
The day I put pencil and paint to paper was the first tine in years that I didn't know anything, only that I was lost in the picture, completely living in the moment and my mind totally focused on nothing more than colour, brush strokes and creativity.
I had no one to please, no one to impress or be responsible to.
I was doing something for me and I enjoyed it.
I then found out there were local art classes and they were free. I plucked up all my courage and joined. I made friends immediately and my confidence in ME grew.
I still paint, sometimes it will be many weeks before I feel like I can, but I know that when I do, it helps me.
You like painting, can you try getting into that more, not for any other reason but to please yourself?
It might be that little bit of light you are looking for.
I hope so.
what i can offer you is my support - support that i know the pain you are feeling and the challenges that you have to overcome to face each day. i think people who haven't experienced our pain don't realize the strength it takes for so many of us just to breath.
will things get better? who knows? i certainly don't - and i'm tired of those who don't know telling me that they do... i'm with you...
Lots of great people here as you can already tell.. Good luck..
You dance well for 103 :D
I can relate to your feelings and loss. I have no idea if or when it gets better. I've been bad for two years now. I used to dip up and down, but now I'm just down.
Yes, I would love to teach. Unfortunately teachers are being laid off here also. My area is so depressed even Walmart is laying off.
What about going back to school and retraining for something else? There must be a website to tell you what jobs are in demand. We have futurejob.ca and it gives us an idea. Some results even do it by area.
Sounds like it is really bad where you are for employment. Usually Walmart is always hiring, especially for seasonal work.
it is
http://www.jobfutures.ca/
gives you ideas about what is involved in a job, what education you need and if it is in a limited, fair or good status for that type of job. I was thinking there must be something similar for you.
The best one though was from a lab in Pennsylvania looking for a chemist to develop calibration standards for analyzing carbon on x-ray spectrometers. This was a perfect match for me because I was Chairman of the Carbon Analysis Committee of ASTM (American Association of Testing Materials) and had developed the very first x-ray standard material for my former company AND...I was the author of the industry's test method for analyzing carbon by x-ray spectroscopy, the test method most of the world uses to run their x-ray spectrometers. Well they wrote me back saying sorry but they were looking at more qualified applicants. I was furious and wrote them back say, "OK fine, but the person you hire will be running your instruments using procedures that I developed and published."
It's like a nightmare!