Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
you know the ones... those days when all you can think about is how goddamn pointless everything seems? When you keep wondering why you bother to hold on? Yep.. just another one of those days. I am so sick of feeling like this. I just want it to stop already but it won't. Day in and day out it's a constant struggle, a constant up and down up and down sickening ride without a knowable end. I have no way of knowing when I will be happy again. Or if I will be happy again. Or what it will be that makes me happy again. Or if I even want it badly enough to ever BE happy again. I think I want to be happy. But there must be some sliver of a sadistic bastard inside me that honestly and truly desires pain and keeps me here. I wonder about this demon all the time. Is there really a part of me that gets some kind of sick pleasure out of my hatred for life.. that works through my subconscious to keep me in this hole? I think there must be. I try to motivate myself to do more things to make me happy and to work harder at being happy. But often I just don't do anything. I'll go to the gym... for a few weeks. I'll talk about wanting to go hiking more.. and then I go once. I'll start eating healthier.. until my next period. I constantly fail at happiness and I'm beginning to wonder if it's because I want to. I hate myself so much right now.
I really dont think anyone wants to be unhappy, so i hope your feeling better soon
Hugs Lexi
Hang in there! Know you're not alone.
Jenn
But then, I try to think about it the other way around - my sadness will come to an end too.. it always does. What sucks about life it that it seems it is mostly "blah-ness" with a little bit of happiness and quite a lot of sadness and suffering. But also that sadness and suffering make happiness feel so much better when it does shine in. I guess it's kinda like winter and summer.. the shorter season is the best season.
I hope you will too...(((HUGS)))
the trick with determination, isnt the motivation or the decision, but the life style. center your life around your goal, and itll come easier.
if i want to keep a job, i center my life around the support i get from that job. quitting isnt an option, because then i lose that support. makes it easier to stick with it.