Prayer helps all kinds of things.....have you tried?

I never really thought about that probably because I feel lost so much.

Have you talked to a therapist? It might be helpful. Someone that has experience
with the issue.

I haven't yet, but I really should.

I have had 2 conversations with people about this issue. One was with a woman, about my daughter's age. She is a very dear friend, and I learned a lot talking to her about her experiences. The biggest thing I learned is that it is very complex, and that I am limited by my experiences and not being a trained therapist. I have been able to be a friend, but not a problem solver.

The other was with a woman who was trained as a hotline operator. She helped me understand that there is a huge difference between being part of a person's friendly support network and being somebody who helps people find that path from where they are to where they want to be.

the heavy lifting (so to speak) needs to be done by a professional. They know a lot more about important things to look for, and how to identify reactions that will not work well before emotional energy gets spent.

Sorry to be so wordy, it would have been easier to agree with what Tired has said.

Gentle hugs

Thank you for your help and I will definitely get help. Thank you for taking time out of your day to leave a comment/word of advice. (:

I am sorry this happened to you. I hope what I say doesn't "trigger" the flashbacks any worse than they are. My wife is a 3 time rape victim. 2 were from boyfriends as "date rape" and the last one was from a co-worker who offered her a ride home from work. It has taken a long time for us to work through this but, it can be done. The main thing you must remember is, whoever you confide in, you must totally trust otherwise judgments and personal feelings can get in the way. I am here if you have questions, etc. I have been here for almost 8 years and, I am a Pastor.

My gut feeling would be to stay home from work, stay in bed, get a hottie bottle and a box of tissues and just let yourself get through whatever the heck might show up.

I try to fast track grieving nowadays, even though as the years go by I become more freaked out by lesser attacks. It's like some kind of pavlovian reaction. I don't WANT to experience grief. I don't WANT to get through the pain. I don't want any pain.

But I think while you're still young enough to feel brave and heroic, letting your body go through this home alone is a good idea. it will bubble up feelings, and tears, and memories - and realisations. And the realisations are the things you really really want. And I for one only get them when I have grieved, and when I am alone.