These feeling you are having will pass. We have all felt this at one time or the other. Just take a deep breath and hang on. Focus on getting through the day minute by minute.

These bad times and the depression and the anxiety will pass even if it is for one small moment. Like mine, the depression might last long, but there will be moments when things do go your way. Those are the moments to remember and cherish, if any of that made sense. I don't know you, and yet I look forward to you getting better

Read your earlier post. A terrible dilemma when we must depend on a family, but the family is unkind and rejecting. You have kept secrets from them, which is hard, but protects you. Glad you have come to DS. We accept you. You were able to share your secrets, which is the beginning of healing. Depression tells us all the same lies. Calming and comforting hugs.

wow Kamal,
see your problem, you are facing a cultural bias that frowns heavily on same sex love, Personally I believe we are all one as a people, we are all members of the same race, the human race, sometimes cultures mistakenly separate us but basically we all love the same God, we may give him different names, and different qualities . but believe me he's the same God. The God I know loves us all, and never makes mistakes. Your may not know why your like you are now, but trust me you have purpose and a destiny to full fill. Fr many years i prayed and spoke to my God and felt he never answered me. but recently i found he has been talking back but i wasnt listening. God doesnt speak through your mind, you wont hear his voice. if you listen to your heart he resides there. I know he loves you Kamal for who you are, after all he created you the way you are now. Did he create you to hate you? Like i said earlier he doesnt make mistakes. your greatest problem is your family, I am trans Kamal, i told my family also, and they didnt like me to much after that. so i let them go there ways and took a path best suited for me. im happy now, i found my true love and a new family that loves and respects me for who i am. I pray to God and knows he loves me always has, I love God and always carry him in my heart, i listen when he speaks. his message is of love. i'm not sick because i was a man but born with a womans heart and soul. i had purpose found mine , its to help people like you and me. GOOD LUCK, and God Bless.

I'm not sure if I'm able to them about what happened to me. Right now all I can do is screaming and yelling for help inside my head. Because I feel its useless that I tell someone, even to my closest friends on work that is actually I think.... they're judgable. I guess I'm not gonna find a right person to tell about what happening to me.

Quit screaming for help, please be calm and patient, your time will come. it's not like you have lived a very long time alone, your just 9 years outside the onset of puberty. i didnt find anyone of meaning until i was seven years older then you. whats your hurry? life of meaning will come, . really part of your problem i believe is your so desperate to find someone you dont have at the moment that this effects how people see you. desperate people are not attractive. its confident people who know who they are and are not ashamed of it but welcome it. thats attractive . trust me thats how its done.

To answer your question the answer is always yes -once you keep going. As for envy go to a homeless shelter and see where your envy is then
People who succeed by the western model simply means they are particularly effective rats on a wheel. They are so busy trying to be better than every one tgey dont realise all they have to do is accept themselves and realise there are always better or worse people in the world than you in terms of money and all that bullshit jazz