Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Im alone and feel more alone everyday, I cut but the cutting is not taking away the pain anymore. All my friends have "something or someone to live for" whether its kids, significant other, or other support. but me, im alone. I wish someone can really be there for me but seems like I always have to chase for it. Ive isolated myself so much believing that no one cares, no one would want to be around me, no one can ever love me. Things don't get better, they just keep getting worse, Im tired of this weight that drags me everywhere. I want the horrible thoughts to stop, I cant take it most days, almost everyday I contemplate killing myself, deep down I feel I will kill myself, maybe not today or tomorrow but I feel it coming and im tired of fighting. Especially fighting alone.
I fight every day to live you know why, hope , faith, having the feeling ill get my happy ending. Most of my life has been hell, was sexually assaulted by a family member and beat within an inch of my life, was physically abused by my father, peers my age hated me growing up and i still feel they do. Im on meds, seeking a counselor or therapist and hes great. Im working out, going to school, etc. We have to fight, depression is a dark thing. I have hated nyself for so long, that now im trying to grasp self love for the first time and i dont know where to start or say to myself. Dont let our depression win, there is light i believe
Many times it feels like we do not have anyone to live for or that loves us...it's a painful feeling.
But whose there when we're crying ourselves to sleep at night, whose there every single day no matter how we feel, whose there allowing us to see, talk, smell, touch, taste, breathe, walk, think, etc...it's our body's,it's ourself. Our body is our home, the only one we're responsible for.
As hard as it is to keep moving forward, someway and somehow we've made it this far. We've lived through every experience up until today. It's probably been crappy but we're here. Demonstrates how strong and resilient we are even if it doesn't feel like we have strength and resiliency.
I'm sorry for what you're going through and that you contemplate suicide. You're worthy of life, your life. You deserve to live every single day. You deserve it for you, not for anyone else. Take care. You're not alone.
I had hope once upon a time, too. Then someone took it away from me. I was young - probably no older than 6 or 7 - and I was left with nothing but the memory of hope.
I'm 29, and I'm only now figuring out what's held me back every time I feel like doing something like cutting or committing suicide: the conviction that hope will come again.
It's been more than 20 years, but I still hold that belief. It came in handy yesterday; I was feeling miserable, lonely, depressed and suicidal. I used the Crisis Text Line instead because going the route of physical harm is not my M.O.
That may be where our similarities end, but our pain may be more alike than different. You are not alone. It has taken me decades of therapy (including a 16 month stint at a residential treatment facility) and about 12 years of daily meds to get to where I'm at today...and I *still* am not relieved of my depression!
Be gentle with yourself. Take it one breath at a time. When you inhale one breath, commit to taking one more. Exhale. On the next breath in, commit again, to one more breath. Exhale. Commit in. Breathe out. Think only about breathing and committing - don't think about time. Time restarts itself when you start each inhale. Commit in. Breathe out. Time restarts.
This is not a requirement. You don't have to do it. But if you want to, then please do make use of it. :-)
Like I said above, I used the Crisis Text Line yesterday. It's like a hotline, but you can text a crisis counselor instead of having to talk to them verbally. Please feel free to make use of that, too. CrisisTextLine.org has more info.
(((Hugs)))
- Stars