Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Today is my first day back to work after vacation. It's rough getting back to a routine. I'm feeling under the weather. I also just feel really down and exhausted. I have another doc appt Monday to get checked out again. I really hope I don't have a viral infection. It's so hard to function. I feel like my job is so meaningless and unfulfilling. It's the best job I could get unless I go back to college and get another degree. I need to find time and energy to do some other things.
I feel depressed because I don't feel like doing much, especially sex. Sorry if tmi.
This situation reminds me of another time when my cystitis flared and I also felt tired. That was 2 years ago and I had an STD.
I just got engaged so that better not be the case this time.
Another time I was sick like this and couldn't have sex and my ex used it as an excuse to cheat on me. I keep remembering negative feelings about that.
Then this morning I was giving my mom an update on how I feel and she reminds me of yet another terrible time in my life when I was suffering horribly as a young girl with debilitating endometriosis and cystitis. I had to have several surgeries and hormone therapies. I suffered untreated for years because they didn't know what was wrong. I still have all my organs but may have scar tissue preventing me from getting pregnant.
Then this morning my mom just nonchalantly says "oh it's probably your little problem coming back, whatever it was that was wrong with you." I was so hurt but I didn't react. Now I'm scared to death. I don't want to be that person again, I'd rather die.
Monday appt seems so far away. I'm so depressed. I've been in too much pain to sleep. I'm exhausted. I've been trying to keep my mind distracted by reading, watching movies, playing vid games. I'm supposed to go to a party tonight. I'm going to try.
Went to the doc today. All tests came back negative. I got a steroid shot which seems to be helping and being put on another med for a few days. I could have a kidney stone but it isn't likely, doc says. If I'm not better in a week she will refer me to a urologist.
I am feeling better today. Going to make dinner tonight. I think I'm just going to have to stop drinking coffee again. I stopped in January then started again recently. I really think it's giving me issues but I love my hot caffeine in the AM. This sucks. And now I have PMS too so I'm even more bummed out.