Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
so i think my sister is the cause of my depression. she calls me fat and ugly. she's always putting me down for my achievements, like good grades or me hitting my year mark last year for staying self-harm free. she said "it's not that big of a deal, chill out." but of course, there are no more celebrations for staying self-harm free, because she's pushed me to cut again. i try to be nice to her, but she just doesn't have a single fiber of respectfullness in her. she loves making other people inferior and i can't take this anymore. i'm tired of dealing with her bullcrap. and for what? why am i staying here in this horrible world just to deal with her torment? for what? i could end this now and never have to deal with this again. i could simply cut to deep and bleed out unto the world. i've accepted and i now believe what she tells me. i'm fat. i need to starve myself to be at a pefect weight. our goal is 100 lbs. i'm ugly. makeup doesn't work, so just use your hair to cover the horrible mess. i'm stupid, those 5 A's you have are only because you do your work. it doesn't necessarily mean you're smart. it means you kiss the teacher's behind. to hell with this.
Please stay on this board and let us know how things are going.
But blaming your internal issues on your sis isn't going to heal you. What she things and says DOES NOT MATTER ONE TINY FUCKING BIT.
YOU are what matters. Making it a year without self harm is HUGE! and I'm sorry you felt the need to use again. I have struggled with that on and off my whole life and I am about to be 28.
YOU ARE SMART!!! Being and becoming smart doesn't always come easily. I had to work HARD for my grades. I talked to teachers often and got extra help when needed. I was polite and respectful. That is not sucking up or not being smart. THAT IS BEING SMART!!! You are going to have to work and deal with people all the rest of your life. YOU ARE DOING IT ALL RIGHT AND YOU ARE SMART!!! Doing the work is a discipline that people who the smarts come easily for don't necessarily learn. YOU ARE AHEAD OF THE CURVE!!!
Sounds like your sister doesn't know how to interact with you. That's okay. we are all on our own personal journey. Focus on yours. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. You are beautiful just for being you.
Message me if you want to talk or vent.
YOU ARE STRONG AND BEAUTIFUL AND VALID IN YOUR FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS!!!!
But really. Blaming your feelings on other people never works. That is not acceptance. You are in control of you. No one else controls your emotions, tho I do understand living with someone who sucks energy like a black hole. And you can't control anyone but yourself. You can't control how she treats you. But you can control they way you talk to her, what you tell her, how you choose to interact with her and the way you decide to REACT to her.
It takes time and practice. I highly recommend starting a meditation practice.
Best to you. XO