Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I realize I tend to be the Invisible Man on the boards because 99% of the time I don't have much to say that actually sounds intelligent. But today, I really can't hold this back because it's weighing heavily on my heart.
I have an uncle who was the top man at a family car dealership (which has since closed) where I started working when I was a teenager. Over the last year or so, his health has been deteriorating. Over the last month, it's been especially bad. He's been moved from a hospital, to an assisted living facility, and back to the hospital again.
Over the past week, I've gotten some really bad news regarding him. Doctors have determined that his brain is basically no longer functioning, and that the only thing keeping him alive is a respirator. After a meeting with his immediate family (I'm part of his extended family), the decision has been made to unplug the respirator, which was done at 10am this morning.
This basically means that it's not a matter of if he's going to die, but when.
It really doesn't matter that I don't care that much for him -- he had this habit of teasing people extremely often and I was a favorite target -- losing a family member always hurts. And when it does happen officially, I'm going to be in parts unknown. I've never been to a wake before (my parents are considering making me skip that because I could get freaked out by the corpse). I've never been to a funeral before. I can't even begin to think what it's going to do to me emotionally if my heart is as heavy as it is now.
I'm not even sure what I can say to his wife to try to comfort her, because from all indications she's not taking this well. That said, I don't think I'm taking this very well, either. Today my thoughts are everywhere but here.
I have an uncle who was the top man at a family car dealership (which has since closed) where I started working when I was a teenager. Over the last year or so, his health has been deteriorating. Over the last month, it's been especially bad. He's been moved from a hospital, to an assisted living facility, and back to the hospital again.
Over the past week, I've gotten some really bad news regarding him. Doctors have determined that his brain is basically no longer functioning, and that the only thing keeping him alive is a respirator. After a meeting with his immediate family (I'm part of his extended family), the decision has been made to unplug the respirator, which was done at 10am this morning.
This basically means that it's not a matter of if he's going to die, but when.
It really doesn't matter that I don't care that much for him -- he had this habit of teasing people extremely often and I was a favorite target -- losing a family member always hurts. And when it does happen officially, I'm going to be in parts unknown. I've never been to a wake before (my parents are considering making me skip that because I could get freaked out by the corpse). I've never been to a funeral before. I can't even begin to think what it's going to do to me emotionally if my heart is as heavy as it is now.
I'm not even sure what I can say to his wife to try to comfort her, because from all indications she's not taking this well. That said, I don't think I'm taking this very well, either. Today my thoughts are everywhere but here.
My step father was a son of a bitch but when he died I was very torn..
I would skip the wake if you are not up to it and send your Auntie a nice card.. I think that would be considerate enough.. But that is just me..
Again, I am sorry sweetie.... sending prayers and blessings and positive mojo.. No matter what you decide it will be the right decision..
Losing a family member,whether you were "close" or not, is painful.
My adult son is the same way as you are.
Try to just take things a little at a time, don't get into the future until it gets here.
Meany gave you a good idea to send a card..I
would also suggest contacting your your local Hospice..they do help family members
through the grieving process. I know people
here to will help you through all this as well.
Keep talking, it will help. I know you will be able to decide what is best for you.
sending prayers and blessings..
I agree, skip the wake if you feel it will be too hard on you. I never liked the idea about viewings, but that is just me.
As for your aunt, be prepared to say something honest, nice, and comforting. Since you do not particularly like him, don't lie and say you loved him. Instead say something about being sorry for her loss, and that he will be missed by many people.
You may not miss the way he treated you (you have every right to be angry with him), but if you are grateful for the job he gave you then that would be a nice thing to say. Keep it short.
Gentle hugs
From all indications he went peacefully, but it's still a painful loss. :'(