Depression Support Group

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A tough question

hopefulmama
hopefulmama

I have posted here a few times and really appreciate all the insight and for sharing your stories.My daughter,soon to be 13 has been suffering depression and PTSD since April.She has therapists and a psychiatrist and is on Lexapro.She was on Prozac for 3years that helped her anxiety but I believe it stopped helping so we switched to lexapro.Anyway she was cutting and that has seemed to stop but she is still having suicidal thoughts.Everyday,all day.My question is will she just have to live with this?I am trying to understand so that I can help her but I don't,I mean, and this is going to sound horrible, but wouldn't she have done it by now?Please don't take that the wrong way but when I have a thought of do I or don't I,there comes a time when I have to decide.Are theses thoughts just thoughts?I have had sharps and meds locked up since April.I watch her like a hawk and check on her throughout the night.i read slot here and it seems that this disease is persistent to say the least.I can't stand to see her like this and am trying everything I know how but nothing helps.Also when I point out that she had a good day she gets angry and says she just fakes being happy,obviously she is not faking,I can tell a genuine laugh and having fun.I am so confused.

BCat1000
BCat1000
That is a tough situation. If you don't mind me asking, what caused her PTSD? I think that is important.
hopefulmama
hopefulmama
PTSD from sexual abuse,I know about the black box warning and to be honest I don't see the meds helping.We took her off Prozac and she was on nothing for awhile and no difference.But I do think being on meds gives her more angry outbursts.So if it is not helping why be on anything?But you know the doctors scare you into thinking meds are needed.
BCat1000
BCat1000
This is really outside of my area of expertise. I imagine that the sexual abuse is probably the cause of the behavior and that is a very tricky situation. I would continue to try and find meds that help. Outside of that she will need therapy to help cope with the abuse. I'm sorry that happened.
Slickrickymac
Slickrickymac
My daughter, now 19 went through the exact same thing that started around 14. Depression, cutting, making herself through-up, tried over dosing on several meds 3 times, and every time ended up in a rehab facility. Kids these day just seem to have way to much presser on themselves. Stupid phones, TV, facebook and on and on. Through therapy, prayer and a really good youth group she has pulled herself up from the dark hole. She has been off med's for about a year and is getting back to her old self. She still hits rough spots, but has learned how to deal with them. One of the times she took a fistful of my trazadone so she went to the emergency room, and they put her on a 48 hour phsyc hold. Well I through a holy fit, so one of the nurses called DYFS and about a week after they showed up at the house. They wouldn't tell me why or who filed the complaint; the next six months I was walking on egg shells. After 6 months they said the charges were totally unfounded and they'd close the case. So, your not alone..and of course I will pray for you and your daughter. There is power on your knees in prayer.

All the best Rickymac
sonnycamehome
sonnycamehome
Sometimes suicidal thoughts or ideation is a coping mechanism. You can think, "I wish I wouldn't wake up in the morning" and having this thought or similar thoughts gets you through difficult emotional situations. The thing is, it can be very difficult to know when someone is having ideation, vs someone who is actually making plans to carry out an actual suicide. You can try asking your daughter probing questions like, "do you have a plan?" "Have you thought about how you would kill yourself?" and see just how detailed her thoughts on the subject are, but it is probably a good idea to let her therapist and psychiatrist know that she is at the very least having ideation. No one should have to just live with constant suicidal ideation. This is a sign that she is still very depressed and that perhaps she needs her treatment plan adjusted somehow.

On the plus side be very encouraged that your daughter has stopped cutting. This is such a big accomplishment, and not an easy thing to do. Be proud of her, and know that despite the fact that she is still struggling, she is also making progress.

Wishing you all the best.
Lonelysoul
Lonelysoul
Sounds like bpd not knowing her I can't say for sure. Messed up thing is most people it becomes a way of life like myself. On the flipside people do get better with one on one and group therapy and medication if the diagnosis is correct find yourself a good therapist that specializes in borderline personality disorder. Not just any therapist will do. Because of her age it may be hard to determine whether that's the case or not. And bpd is very common in people that have post-traumatic stress disorder especially from sexual abuse.
hopefulmama
hopefulmama
We have been to many therapists,mostly bad but I will continue to search.she has said many times she does not have a plan but when she gets angry or stressed she does say she can't take much more.I do believe puberty is a big part of her depression but I am at my wit's end.
billwfriend
billwfriend
I hope the abuser is in jail now....that is just wrong....sorry....I wish I knew how to help but nothing comes to mind....I do not understand cutting....
hopefulmama
hopefulmama
Unfortunately her abuser was a minor cousin.No jail,no mandatory counseling,nothing.The case was dropped.Unfrotunatly this is the norm.
Heidiclark
Heidiclark
That is tragic that there are no consequences for an offender who is a minor. Also I would not assume that she will always be suicidal. Hope for the best for her. Have faith that she is getting better. I may have already said this and it took years for me to figure this out but for me SSRI's caused me to have really bad anger problems, and made my depression and suicidal thoughts worse. Just something to consider.
blueraincoat123
blueraincoat123
So tragic. I am praying for you and your daughter. Please take it all seriously, though. You never know when she will do something rash--even for attention--and it ends badly by accident.
hopefulmama
hopefulmama
I do err on the side of caution and would never express my thoughts to her,I am glad I have this forum to express my concerns.She has been known to be attention seeking and I wonder if that has become her way of dealing with things.its sad and frustrating because I can see she is genuinely happy and having fun sometimes but she says she is faking.I also belong to another group here for parents whose children were sexually abused and believe me jail time is not the norm,in fact it is all too common that the perp is let go.Families are estranged,children are called layers and in some instances the abuser is granted visitation.
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