Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Glamgeek 04/27/2020

You know sometime I'd like to think I'm a know it all and I know I'm not. I guess that it's sometimes just too late to change. I havent always been the brightest girl in my family. Neither the favorite what... but what I will tell you, and this is all based on how I have felt for as long I can remember is that I have felt like the black sheep. The child that always makes mistakes and fucks up (excuse my language). I just feel like I've never been able to get anything right and when I finally feel like I am moving in the right direction or somewhat certain ... I'm always pulled back to the reality that I have always felt to be real and yet again disappointed everyone I've ever know; my mom, my dad, my sisters, my grandparents, and list can go on and on but most importantly myself. I've never just listened to what anyone has told me and I am finally listen but I am listening a little too late. I've burned my bridge as my mother says. And she is right I have I fucked up big time. And now I have to deal with it. So to get to the situation and I am so embarrassed to say ... I havent been the cleanest person when it comes to my living space. I for a long time would leave cups and plates with food crust in my room for months at a time and I would just get so complacent and lazy with them being there that I would forget that they were there. And then I would eventually get in trouble by my parents... and that's kinda of the situation now except for the fact that I'm older living in my grandparents house left a plate and a fork in my draw totally forgot about it and my grandparent went through my draw and I felt violated I felt that it was an invasion of my privacy and I wrote a note and put them in every single one of my drawers and they got very upset and now I am in this situation and feel horrible all at the same time and I understand how they feel ... but I'm also kinda bug that my feelings arent seen ... so all I can really do is sit and take it and not share my emotions I feel and ha e felt powerless and I can totally understand why. So any advice anyone can give me. I mean hopefully it will put my mind and feelings at ease.

kerstintrent 04/27/2020

I feel you there. Growing up I was always deemed as a "failure." I rarely got a smile from my family members. Everytime I would want to do something in life I never got support because it is not what my parents wanted. I too have messed up my life because I failed to listen to the one friend I actually have. And my parents did nothing to help my cause. I just got a scowl from them.

Glamgeek 04/27/2020

That's exactly how I feel right now and I dont know just wish that I can for once in my life be looked at like I could do no wrong

Glamgeek 04/27/2020

I mean at this point I dont even want to go to sleep I dont want to ve in this house I just want to exist in a place where I can do no wrong I just want to be alone now i feel sad anger apologetic.. I feel a whole bunch of emotions all in one

Andromeda8 04/27/2020

You make me smile Glamgeek. No, your grandparents will not be angry with you. They just want to teach you a lesson to behave. Your house is a house of laughter and comedy. What a wonderful family to live in. Have a nice day !

Glamgeek 04/27/2020

I'm so confused right now with your comment @Andromeda8. I'm a bit offended and I say this because I'm pretty sure my grandparents are very angry with me and I'm getting kicked out. And you think that this is funny ... I'm sory that I'm only 20 years old and I'm still learning to stand on my two feet I'm sorry that I dont understand life like you do. You maybe right about the fact that my grandparents are definitely trying to teach me a lesson but saying that my house is full of laughter and comedy I'm very offended.

Glamgeek 04/27/2020

Let me just apologize because I came in pretty hot. I feel as though i was some what attacked and that may not have been your intention. My issues with your comment is that I come on here yo vent because I dont usually have an outlet to vent to and the fact that you arent being understanding of that upsets me you dont have to comment on my post at all.

Andromeda8 04/27/2020

I feel that you have alot of anger issues, and that may be the impediment in your relationship with your grandparents. When things have calmed down, perhaps you can have a talk with your grandparents to find out what kind of issues that make your gramps to be angry with you. You are younger than your grandparents, defer to them a bit. It is about showing respect to the elderly once in a while, and this would help you to develop a better relationships with your grandparents. I know that you want to take in the memory of your sister all to yourself, but remember, your grandparents are also in pain from the loss of your sister. Take care, Marie

Secouya 04/28/2020

Glamgeek, your old habits could have caused a health hazard as well as attract rodents. My sister has some of these same issues. Your Grandparents probably have concerns about you repeating your past. They will get over their anger. I think though it might benefit you to consider talking to a therapist to sort out your past and help you resolve some of your feelings. You are still very young and have your whole life ahead of you. We all make decisions we regret. It’s normal as long as we learn from our mistakes. It helps us grow. I hope that you can work things out with your family. I am sure you are a bright young woman with a great future ahead. Best wishes.

Glamgeek 04/28/2020

I soo thank you and yes I agree that maybe after putting that idea of talking with a therapist is something that I need to do. I think most importantly I needed to admit that i was wrong and it's ok to be wrong

cymbaline 04/28/2020

I think being depressed is *part of the dish problem.* When depression grabs ahold of you, even carrying dishes to the kitchen to put them in the sink takes too much energy. I suspect, too that it's a common trait. I remember friends of mine wondering where all the dishes were in their apartment. They had disappeared over the weeks. One day the went into "Cindy's" bedroom when she wasn't home. The plates, bowls and glasses were there - under the bed, with the crusts and half-eaten stuff on them.

I had the same issue with a room mate a couple years ago: When the idea is to separate yourself and stay alone as much as possible, it's really easy to get into bad habits like that. Roomie had a fridge and microwave in his room. He encouraged his family to visit and stay all cooped up in his room. I went in there one day to vacuum...clothes all over the floor, and half-eaten food underneath them.

You just *can't* do this, as it's a health issue. As someone who has wrestled with depression off and on for about 45 years, I get it, but this is one thing you just have to attend to. It's especially true when you live with/ are depending on others for shelter, as it's their house you're drawing mice / cockroaches / vermin into with this practice.

As far as wanting to be in a place "where I can do no wrong" I don't know what to say. I don't know anyone who is *perfect* and expecting people to treat someone as if he or she is, is unrealistic.

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