Depression Support Group
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So Al my fiance came home and I told him how I was feeling about all the deaths we have gone through. I told him how I thought Annette had been so strong about his sons death (Annette was Ricks wife).
We had just both gone to the dermatologist yesterday for some mole removeals. I have one on my leg that they tested two years ago and I havent went back. They removed it again (it was pre cancerous before) and they said if it turned out bad, I would come in and they would dig it out deeper and I would need stiches.. Al has very light skin and out in the sun all the time. He has sun spots all over that they burn off. One yesterday they took a sample as they did for me but told him to come back in 5 weeks. So I started asking him about life and death and what he would do if one of us turned out cancer..He said " I would start smoking Marlboros again". I said " If that was me that turned out with cancer?" He said " No if I found out I was terminal". And then he left on his Harley.. I just dont know what to think anymore.. I am so confused.. Sorry, Im so down, I dont know what to think.. Please help me.. I dont ask often but I am really needing something here. I dont know what it is though..Im so very hurt.. Y'Vonne
We had just both gone to the dermatologist yesterday for some mole removeals. I have one on my leg that they tested two years ago and I havent went back. They removed it again (it was pre cancerous before) and they said if it turned out bad, I would come in and they would dig it out deeper and I would need stiches.. Al has very light skin and out in the sun all the time. He has sun spots all over that they burn off. One yesterday they took a sample as they did for me but told him to come back in 5 weeks. So I started asking him about life and death and what he would do if one of us turned out cancer..He said " I would start smoking Marlboros again". I said " If that was me that turned out with cancer?" He said " No if I found out I was terminal". And then he left on his Harley.. I just dont know what to think anymore.. I am so confused.. Sorry, Im so down, I dont know what to think.. Please help me.. I dont ask often but I am really needing something here. I dont know what it is though..Im so very hurt.. Y'Vonne
But you've got to know by now that men don't deal with loss and bereavement issues, or anything emotional, like we do. They almost CAN'T talk about it, sometimes. I know my husband is the same way. We talk things out, they jump on their Harleys. He'll probably give it alot of thought, and get back to you, somehow.
And maybe, just maybe, he's not prepared to deal with that possibility, yet. It's simply too overwhelming for him. Be patient. You've been through an awful lot of trauma lately. He can't process the possibility of losing you.
Hugs, sweetie.
I don't mean to be dismissive, but my read is that he just deals with stuff differently than you do.
So, hugs to you and Al. And a prayer that all works out for the best.
Let it go. Why push for an answer he is obviously not comfortable giving.
Its not about you, its about him. You have done nothing wrong and he is not rejecting you. No doubt he loves you very much but let him have his silence on this one if you love him
Hugs
Alphonsus