Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I am so depressed tonight. Just feeling like a loser. I can't do anything right. I've screwed up my marriage, i doubt I'm raising my son right, esp since he doesn't listen to me most of the time, I can't seem to lose weight no matter what I do so I just sit here overweight and feeling fat and ugly. I am so not feeling it tonight. I really don't wanna be like this while my son grows up. I want to be a happy mommy for him. I don't want him to grow up thinking he's the one who makes me sad at night. he's only 3 now but he's very perceptive. He knows i'm sad. he just came up to me and said, mommy, u sad? I need to give you a big hug. And that made me feel a little better but I'm still incredibly sad. I really hate feeling this way. I have no money or insurance so i can't see a therapist and I really don't wanna have to live on drugs to make myself feel better. I just wanna be right again. Why am I so fucked up?
(((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))
and i have a motto, "don't bother debating a 3 year old, you won't win".
i'm sure you're doing a good job with him.
also, you're not a loser. i repeat, you're not a loser. you are a caring mom and good person. this is the depression talking.
i do hope that you can find some bit of peace very soon. and that things get better for you.
The thing I want you to realize is that no one chooses to feel the way you describe. It is not an 'attitude' problem .. causes are things you would never think of. Iron deficiency, thyroid problems, neurochemistry problems, other hormonal conditions can cause all the things you describe.
I don't know exactly what it will take if you cannot see a doctor. That is the first step. You must somehow arrange for a good physical exam, a good lab workup, a diagnosis, and a treatment plan. You can spend many, many years in your condition and it will cost you a lot of happiness. It can even get worse.
Find a way to see a doctor .. and make those arrangements. Your and your child's lives depend on it.