Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I guess everyone can tell from my status that my OCD has gone way off the deep end. I have also been dealing with insomnia for the past three days and am dealing with anxiety.
Although I am not manic depressive, I feel like not sleeping has kind of put me into a bit of a manic state. My OCD centers around the music I create. Normally, it is impossible for me to work on my music as I no longer can concentrate on it, but for the past couple of days I have had a giant boost of energy that caused me to start on a new song.
I know I probably sound like a baby, but this new song sounds completely like shit. I have been spending ten hours a day or so on this song now for the past three days and it is ridiculous haw bad it sounds.
It has taken me over a year to work up the courage to produce something, and this is what I get? I am majorly upset. Hopefully with some work it will sound like something, but I severely doubt it. There is something majorly wrong with the track. I don't know whether it is clashing notes or if it is out of sync, but it is ridiculously bad and eating myself up.
I posted my song on my facebook page hoping someone would reply with some feedback, but once again I get NOTHING. Nobody gives a shit about my music, I hate it, and I am starting to wonder what is the point anymore.
On another note, every night I sleep for three hours and then wake up and have anxiety for the rest of the night. Also for two days straight, some asshole has been ringing our doorbell early in the morning just when I think I might be able to get some sleep.
I don't consider myself suicidal, but what is the point of living when everyday is a struggle? The only comfort I ever get is when I get back home from work and have a couple glasses of wine to calm my nerves, but that doesn't always help either.
My husband tries to be supportive, but I can tell I am wearing him out and possibly pissing him off. All he can say is things like "Oh christ already, it's just a song." or "It's just anxiety. You are doing this to yourself." Sometimes i'll even get a "Knock it off". All I need is some support and hopefully a friend who gives a damn and can relate.
I seriously do not know how much longer I can go on like this. I haven't seen a shrink in ages, but my last one actually seemed to make things worse and install this belief in my husband that by not talking to me about my OCD is somehow the cure. It almost feels as if the compassion is gone when that is what I need.
I know I sound like a child about this whole music bullshit, but it is ALL I have been obsessing over 24/7 for the past year or so. Will it ever end?!
Although I am not manic depressive, I feel like not sleeping has kind of put me into a bit of a manic state. My OCD centers around the music I create. Normally, it is impossible for me to work on my music as I no longer can concentrate on it, but for the past couple of days I have had a giant boost of energy that caused me to start on a new song.
I know I probably sound like a baby, but this new song sounds completely like shit. I have been spending ten hours a day or so on this song now for the past three days and it is ridiculous haw bad it sounds.
It has taken me over a year to work up the courage to produce something, and this is what I get? I am majorly upset. Hopefully with some work it will sound like something, but I severely doubt it. There is something majorly wrong with the track. I don't know whether it is clashing notes or if it is out of sync, but it is ridiculously bad and eating myself up.
I posted my song on my facebook page hoping someone would reply with some feedback, but once again I get NOTHING. Nobody gives a shit about my music, I hate it, and I am starting to wonder what is the point anymore.
On another note, every night I sleep for three hours and then wake up and have anxiety for the rest of the night. Also for two days straight, some asshole has been ringing our doorbell early in the morning just when I think I might be able to get some sleep.
I don't consider myself suicidal, but what is the point of living when everyday is a struggle? The only comfort I ever get is when I get back home from work and have a couple glasses of wine to calm my nerves, but that doesn't always help either.
My husband tries to be supportive, but I can tell I am wearing him out and possibly pissing him off. All he can say is things like "Oh christ already, it's just a song." or "It's just anxiety. You are doing this to yourself." Sometimes i'll even get a "Knock it off". All I need is some support and hopefully a friend who gives a damn and can relate.
I seriously do not know how much longer I can go on like this. I haven't seen a shrink in ages, but my last one actually seemed to make things worse and install this belief in my husband that by not talking to me about my OCD is somehow the cure. It almost feels as if the compassion is gone when that is what I need.
I know I sound like a child about this whole music bullshit, but it is ALL I have been obsessing over 24/7 for the past year or so. Will it ever end?!
I feel like a freak and a loser. Gotta get ready for work now and am almost positive that I am going to spend the entire day in tears trying to hold it together. I am partualy scared that I will have another obvious panic attack and they will send me home again.
Do things ever get better?!
Sending you many good vibes and hugs....