I am so sorry you are feeling so low. I can relate to most of what you said although the situations are different.

I wish I had something I could say or do for you that would help you. I am glad that you cannot imagine leaving your children. Even if you don't want to stay here for yourself, keep your kids constantly in mind!

Just know that I am sending positive and healing thoughts your way. *Big hugs*

Though I do not have children from my marriage, I understand what you are going through. I got divorced three years ago to a verbally abusive jerk. He ruined my life, I was left and still am in debt, He left me via a text message. During the marriage I ballooned to a weight I never in a million years thought I would reach. I am surrounded by people who care about me, yet I hate myself and feel lonely. It is ok to feel alone and sad. There are so many people like myself who understand what you are going through. You are already taking steps by reaching out. You are a beautiful person and you should remind yourself of it everyday, even if you aren't feeling so. Writing in a journal also helped, take it one day at a time. Try to cut out something bad you want to eat little by little. Walk around the block, listen to music while doing it. This helped me so much, and I started to lose weight. I started enjoying the compliments from weight loss which motivated me to keep it up. I am still healing, and I don't think I ever will not suffer from depression (dx at 13) but never give up on yourself. Don't spiral. Your sons love you and I am sure you have others that do too. You can overcome this. Please stay strong, you survived the divorce. Look at your sons every day to remind yourself that you did something good and know they love and need you.

Hello. I wish I had some magic words to help you, but I don't even know how to help myself. I have never been married, but I am also so depressed, running out of money and feel worthless. I also am unable to keep up with friends. At the very least you know you aren't alone in this. If you ever need a friend or just need to vent you can drop me a line. I truly know what its like to feel so lonely and like you are spiraling out and can't regain control.

Thank you all. It was nice to wake up to kind messages and reminders. The first hour of each day is always my favorite. It's the rest that are very difficult. god bless.

Yes, God.

Hi Girlfriend; I am still married but as far as the being out of control issue . . . that has been me. So many things pulling at my heart and mind from different sides has tossed me into a bad spiral downward. SO, what I only know to do is tackle one thing at a time. I make small goals; i.e. 'I am going to exercise 15 minutes per week.' (Okay, I did say SMALL goals, right?) You certainly can do that, and once you do that 15 minutes you'll find that 15 minutes plus another 5 isn't so bad. Or start couponing; may not solve your entire financial problems but it is something you can DO to stop the spiral. Can you perhaps talk to a free financial person? Maybe they have some ideas that could help you. Ask your doctor about the meds problem, or your pharmacist. There may be programs out there to help with that. Or call the local Welfare office and see if they know of anything. Decide TODAY that you are stopping the spiral, even a little bit at a time. Come on Girl, fight back. There are some things you can do; you write like an intelligient, loving mother, I can tell you are. Don't let that abuser have one more day of your life with your children. I was abused as a child and young teen. One day I realized that the only place that it still existed was in MY memories. The abuser was gone, the place of abuse was gone. They took away enough of our time on this earth, I'm not giving them even another hour. Can you make a small goal to accomplish today? For one thing, you took a step towards getting together in just posting here on DS. Good goal for yesterday, what can you do for today? Weight gain I fight that too. I actually have two entire sets of clothes because I never know what I'm going to be. 5 minutes of stretching (5 minutes - is not very long) can be done and it will release things in your body and mind that you need to start feeling better. These are all things that I have done in my many times that depression has kicked my butt to the bottom of the barrel. And I can tell you that its NOT EASY, but starting to chunk away at those small goals helps you get stronger and get control, and get feeling better. Love and hugs to you Dear Friend. Don't be lonely, look at the people who have answered you already, you now have some new friends!

This sounds so familiar to me. I am sorry you are going through all of this. As far as seeking help you can go to your local mental health center, they usually see you for free or depending on how much money you make.

There is also help for medication. I have used several. You can look up the company that makes each drug, they usually have free meds for those who can not afford them. Astra Genica, I know I spelled that wrong, is wonderful. They paid for my meds for several years.

Then when I went to the mental health center they picked up the cost of my meds. I am now on a program called Well Care that goes through Medicare. I usually don't pay anything for my meds (runs about 2500.00 a month). But you have to be on Medicare for that one.

Look up free meds or the name of the company that makes them. If you do not know what the company is, you can check with your pharmacy, they can give you the numbers. Good luck to you, I hope you get the help you need.

I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I think it's perfectly normal that it would take a long time to get back on your feet, especially if your finances aren't stable and you're struggling with depression. The thing to remember is that it won't always be this bad.

Please try to remember that your feelings of worthlessness are from the depression. They don't represent reality. You are SO worthwhile! You are the world to your sons, a dear friend, and important member of society.

You say you aren't able to keep up with friends because you feel insecure, and yet you're very lonely. Is there one friend you can confide in and reach out to? Do you have any family that you can talk to?

I know the weight gain is scary and upsetting, but you will get back in shape when you feel better. The important thing to focus on right now is your emotional health. The weight will come off in time.

As for paying for your meds, here is an article with some tips that may help:

http://www.moneycrashers.com/what-to-do-when-you-can%E2%80%99t-afford-your-medication/

By dwelling on the abuse you suffered, and thinking about your past, you are only making yourself feel worse. Believe me, I know how hard it is to stop thinking about the bad things when you're depressed. But if you can, try to make a list of all the good things in your life (like your sons), and keep adding to it and referring to it often throughout the day. Really focus on each thing and try to feel grateful for them. Also make a list of all your strengths and abilities and focus on that.

Sending you lots of love and {{{{hugs}}}}}

I am so sorry that u are going through all of this. Look deep down inside for the strength u need to get by. Take one problem at a time. One thing that may help you is being part of a church because they also can help with food and having someone to talk too. Food banks are also a big help, shopping at the salvation army, getting government assistant....

Some small things u can do are journaling, talking to others on here, if u can get support from your family, watch a comedy, ....

I am struggling financially as well and u have to learn to adopt with less money. Did u try joining the financial challenges group? I wish I had better answers but I myself is struggling. Just take one small thing at a time or it will become too much. I am sure u can do it! HUgs