>>not knowing what to do

I mean the following as kindly as possible:

If you do nothing .. nothing will happen. You list several things in your post you could do to improve your situation .. also on your profile page.

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad .... I hope you feel better soon.

{{{hugs}}}

I do wish that you would feel better soon. Try forcing yourself to take a bath. It's amazing what that can do. Try just washing your face, perhaps brush your teeth, yikes. That might be overdoing it. Anyway, I do hope you get some better thoughts coming your way. You're doing something positive by posting here. Hooray for you! Hugz, susu

WOW, thats deep, make yourself dear. Just think to yourself, can never could and make yourself get up clean up and maybe start walking a little everyday. And for sure stay with us:)

thanks for the replies and support...while i do appreciate it i cant really seem to make myself care anymore...i have failed at everything and just dont see the point of trying anymore...no one can do this but me and yet i cant get it done...i am so sick and tired of being sick and tired...it used to be funny...but its not anymore...i have brought this all on myself...i took care of everything and everyone except me and now i cant and dont even want to take care of myself...i dont care about anything...dont want anything...i just want to be left alone to wallow in my sickness and not have to worry about anything or anyone...but i cant...because I have a 19 yr old son who needs me...and a 94 year old mother who needs me but who I dont want to be bothered with...god...i am awful...i just want to be alone and be happy with me myself and i...but i feel so guilty, frustrated, and just unworthy...ugh...fuck shit damn...thats how i feel...fuck shit damn...why...why am i so fucking unhappy all the time?

Maybe you are suffering from caregivers burnout? It's tough taking care of others. It hasn't been that long since I could have written that same post.

I had to change to a new antidepressanr cause the one I was on wasn't working anymore. This new one causes insomnia but I feel so much better. Meds really can help.

thanks again...caregivers burnout? hadn't heard of it or thought about it...interesting...i'm pretty sure I have LIFE burnout...i'll have to look into this caregivers burnout thing...

wandering vet (love the avatar btw, it's cute) I keep coming back to your reply...what exactly are you talking about? what things could I do to improve my situation? and what about my profile page - which I need to update btw...but I just don't see anything relevent

yesterday i went and looked at my past posts and I realized I haven't been happy for a very long time ... i think the last time I was happy according to my journals was in jan.2011!!!...that's along time to deal with all this gloom despair and agony...ugh...

i'm just so sick...i am sick sick sick....so sick I don't know what to do...fuck shit damn

sorry

Yes, I've heard of caregiver's burnout. I understand it, too, because I was the only one of three children who took care of my mother the last five years of her life. You get just plain worn out. I had to learn to take care of myself during that time. Fortunately for me, two friends knew what I was doing to myself by constantly running to help my mother. They talked me into getting more rest and not taking on so much responsibility.

Like they tell you in airplanes...put the oxygen mask on yourself FIRST, so then you can help others. So we have to take care of ourselves FIRST and then see what we can do for other people.

lol...i could really use an oxygen mask right now...

recovering from this last asthma attack is really making things worse

Baby steps:

First, shower.

Then, exercise. Walk around the block.

Then, shower again.

You'll be amazed what those simple acts can do to restore some semblence of caring, and feeling human again!

Hmmm....

I still feel the same way as when I posted this discussion...

the oxygen mask reply really got to me though...maybe - just maybe I'll go take an airplane ride somewhere - don't know where...but just somewhere

just to get that experience...

haven't been on an airplane in a very long time...

Did that help you to feel better, to get it out of your system? You are much too hard on yourself, and by the way, no-one has the right to tell you how YOU are FEELING. Only you know what you are feeling. People can try to help you work things out and give you their opinion but they can't say for sure what you feel. And please don't say that no-one cares because that is absolutely no the truth. Hugs

Sorry you are feeling this bad! I know what you mean about not wanting to do anything all day. In fact I have been sleeping all day and staying up all night. I felt similar to you years ago when I lost most of my relatives, mom, dad, grandma, aunts, uncles and a few friends in a very short period of time. I felt like why even go on living and really had no purpose. Not sure if I was in shock or not but being in my 40's at the time and never even been to a funeral before was enough to shock anyone. It took me years to find a purpose to get happy and then I go through times when I am extremely unhappy again. At the same time everyone passed away, the brothers and sister still living became extremely dysfunctional to be around and years trying to have a relationship with my dysfunctional daughter that stands me up every holiday without fail has taken a tole on me. I seem to have change because most of the friends I had for years and years seemed to get more selfish as the years went by and one day I woke up and finally realize this (they are into their new cars, new homes, money stuff like that). So even though Christmas is only a couple of days of celebration you are still very lucky to have two people in your life that love you and count on you, even though I realized out how burned out you are taking care of others and not yourself like I use to do! I guess I wish I still had my family to celebrate with. Your mother is alive and I am sure when she passes you will still wish for the days of being together. I have to find some purpose this time of year, every year just to make it to the next year to stay alive and this is hard to do when you are totally on your own. I don't mean to preach however I am living this nightmare now! Hope you feel better and here is a hug from me a stranger lol

I legit started crying reading this post because I understand how you feel and i really want you to get better because truth is - no one should feel like shit and it's frustrating to see everyone feeling like this when everyone deserves to be happy in some way.
I think step by step, by fixing what you think is the problem, you'll get better. Having no job and purpose is difficult to fix right away but If you start with taking a shower and treating yourself to relaxing in a bath or something you'll begin to feel a little better. Blast your favourite music and clean what you need to and then talk to a friend or family member about getting a job or helping around for money.

I really hope you find your happiness.
Hang in there.
If you can do it, anyone can.