Nobody understands me- i am living with a friend who i know really wishes i would leave so we could both get on with our lives- though he is too nice to say get out- i know he thinks it often- i just do..... my brothers one is going through his second divorce and living with the other one and his wife- but when i asked to stay was told there were too many boxes in the house for me to stay....... so i could be homeless and they wouldn't care, i am going to spend the holidays alone, i can't find a job and yes i have applied in person and online and nobody down here in friggin arkansas is hiring ! i have no GED So i can't get the one job with the big sign that tants me and says NOW HIRING ! everytime i pass by it ! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! i have finally run out of money, totally dependent on others , i hate my life- so maybe its just not for me- i give up- i have no family , i have nothing no car no house nothing ! i give up lord- i am letting the devil win- whatever happens to me happens to me- don't give a damn anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have reached the breaking point- can't afford a counselor or any other kind of treatment- and so what is there out there for me really- the only reason i get up in the mornings is for my dog and my roommates landlord is complaining about him - if i could catch one break it would be amazing- but not me...... no not me !!!!!!!!!!!!! i know why people feel hopelessness now and why they don't want to be around......... i feel the same...........