Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hi,
I am not really depressed, I just needed to talk a bit.
A long time ago, I broke up with my b/f. I did love and care about him, and it really killed me to do it. I was unhappy that he smoked so much MJ so much and really wasn't discreet about it. I didn't mind a little bit, but I thought he was going to get us in trouble with the law the way he was going. He had made comments about wanting a sugar mama to take care of him. I let it go, though reluctantly.
Years later, I've been through several relationships and none have stuck. He finally got serious, got a real job and finished school (something he would not do when we were together) and is doing great. I am happy for him, but am not happy for me.
At times I feel compelled to look at his facebook and he talks about his wife. I can't understand why he could not get motivated and cleaned up for me. Why did it take him so long to get through school and get it together? I know he cared for me, but I just wish he cared enough to get motivated enough so we could have a good life. He'd mentioned getting married.
It wouldn't matter now if I'd found someone to replace him, but I haven't. He's replaced me. It makes me sick. He has love in his life and I don't. I know how whiny and stupid it is, but it bothers me. Why did he care enough to get a job and a life for her? Why didn't he do it for me? Maybe I didn't give him a chance or time enough?
Some days I am ok with this, others I am not, on random days when I memories of him come up. It is an issue for me.
I am not really depressed, I just needed to talk a bit.
A long time ago, I broke up with my b/f. I did love and care about him, and it really killed me to do it. I was unhappy that he smoked so much MJ so much and really wasn't discreet about it. I didn't mind a little bit, but I thought he was going to get us in trouble with the law the way he was going. He had made comments about wanting a sugar mama to take care of him. I let it go, though reluctantly.
Years later, I've been through several relationships and none have stuck. He finally got serious, got a real job and finished school (something he would not do when we were together) and is doing great. I am happy for him, but am not happy for me.
At times I feel compelled to look at his facebook and he talks about his wife. I can't understand why he could not get motivated and cleaned up for me. Why did it take him so long to get through school and get it together? I know he cared for me, but I just wish he cared enough to get motivated enough so we could have a good life. He'd mentioned getting married.
It wouldn't matter now if I'd found someone to replace him, but I haven't. He's replaced me. It makes me sick. He has love in his life and I don't. I know how whiny and stupid it is, but it bothers me. Why did he care enough to get a job and a life for her? Why didn't he do it for me? Maybe I didn't give him a chance or time enough?
Some days I am ok with this, others I am not, on random days when I memories of him come up. It is an issue for me.
gramybear
It's nothing that you did sweety. He was in a bad place when he was with you and I'm actually glad that you didn't stay with him at the time if he was looking for a sugar mama. People get a bulb that goes off in their head that tells them that maybe it's time to grow up and get their crap together. It's nothing against you. I'm sure if you had met him before he met this new one, and you hadn't met him when he was messed up, there is a good chance that you would be with him now. The problem is: you aren't. So, please don't dwell on the past and look forward to a happy future. Sometimes it's easier for us to stay stuck, it's painful, but it's real. Please know that you are just as important as he is and find yourself a good man. I'm sure you deserve it. Hugs
yntovonmij
It took a major life change for his eyes to open to the errors of his ways. You leaving him was the major life change. This is how I was diagnosed with depression. I had the major life change of being fired for the first time. Also from a job I had for going on 10 years. After that happened my life changed for the better. I was depressed for my whole life. If i never got fired I wouldn't of crashed and burned and got help. I know it hurts you. But that is what happened to him.
deleted_user
Maybe it just wasn't time for him to straighten up yet when you were with him. I know how you feel. I was with a man and we were married and he didn't change for the better until after we divorced and he married someone else. It hurts but you have to move on and try finding someone for yourself. It may take a little while but you may have fun looking for them until you find them.
orion888
Thank you for your insight. It is helpful. Happy holidays.
orion888
Thanks for your input. I guess because he was the kindest and most supportive guy that I knew, not constantly judging based on looks, boob size or a belly roll, that I thought he was a good guy. Doesn't mean he wasn't a good guy, was just kinda immature.
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