A major issue that led to the collapse of my marriage was infertility. So the holidays have always been hard. The Christmas before last I was on fertility drugs that failed. That New Year's eve, while I was resting awaiting pregnancy test results, my ex husband got drunk and threw a dinner plate at me.

This past Christmas we were separated and I was in the middle of adjusting to living alone, I went to my sister's for Christmas to spend with her, her husband and her kids. The day was a difficult one for me and then on Christmas night my sister was under the influence and invited a man she was having an affair with while her husband was asleep. She got caught that night and the last 8 months have been a living hell since for the children and everyone around her.

I, too, am already experiencing major panic for the upcoming holiday season. I know exactly how you feel. But one thing I try to remember that a holiday spent alone isn't necessarily the worst thing. If you force yourself to be around people who will ultimately make you uncomfortable or don't understand you...then what did you really accomplish?

And I don't always agree with the assertion that you should go volunteer somewhere. That's not the magic bullet either and it puts extra pressure on you to have this picture perfect holiday.

Also remember (unless you are super religious) that there are people in the world that don't partake in Christmas celebrations. Do like they do, go to the movies, out to eat with a good book, like it's any other day. Think of ways you can be selfish. Are there things you NEVER have the time to do that a day spent alone will let you do?

And if all else fails, just know that Dec. 26th will come soon enough and it will all be over.

That's true Ruby. The fact is I have ALWAYS had trouble with Christmas. I absolutely loathe it. My grandfather died at Christmas. So did my Uncle. It was not so bad when I was married, but now it's even worse than it was before.
I found out a Thanksgiving one year that he didnt want to be with me anymore. By Christmas that year, I had found out about #4. When I moved out I threw away ALL my Christmas stuff because I no longer wanted to even try to enjoy it.
Christmas a couple years ago, it was obvious that it would be my dad's last one. In fact I usually make it a point to not impose my misery on others, not wanting to be a wet blanket.

If your siblings are going to be away, is there a chance you can go with them? If not, can they help you get word out that you are looking for a small family/friend gathering over the holidays?

How about celebrating the holidays a bit early/late? A Saturday night Thanksgiving will allow family who is at other events (such as their in-laws) to spend some time with you.

Do you have any friends who are in this same situation? If so could you arrange to spend some time with them?

Gentle hugs

Can totally relate. In the dysfunctional home I grew up in, my mother would always throw my father's gift at him a few weeks before Christmas - no hammers or anything - a shirt, a wallet. Still...

If everyone who dreaded the Thanksgiving gatherings just stopped going.. the stores would all be open on that day and the airports would look like any other day. People do what everybody else does, regardless of how miserable it makes them.
That doesn't really work for me.

I used to totally dread the holidays, feel bad and lonely, regardless of who was around -- I just don't care anymore. I am, however, dreading winter - I have a serious dread of darkness at 5 PM - I need that extra hour of daylight and will keep it in mind if I ever get to move again.

Regarding your ex spouse - that's totally in the past. No reason to waste a thought on his life.

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"You don't have to have it all figured out to move forward."

Pepper, no I cant go with them. I wouldnt want to. They are going to in laws, etc.

Sadly I dont really even like being around my sibs all that much (I'm Ms. Cellophane), so how contradictory is that.

Plus I am looking for a job,, so I dont even no where I will be or what my situations will be...

I completely ignore holidays. Never had them growing up and see no need to start now.

I come on DS on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, just in case there is anyone feeling lonely and alone, so know that you will have someone to talk to. Hugs Gramybear

If I can afford it at the time, I might check in to a hotel for a couple days for each holiday. I totally love staying in hotels even if its one right here in town

Problem solved. Gonna check in to one of the casino hotels for a couple of days for each holiday. The buffets will be open...I can bring my own breakfast stuff, sodas, snacks, and drinks.
Now THAT is something to look forward to

I go through the same mess at holidays. last year, i got desperate and went to a womans house I didnt know well for christmas dinner. that didnt go well I was the only one who wasnt under some major influence. I guess I need to plan something... life is so hard.

I've been single for a few years now. I started talking with a friend and things started to develop into a releationship but they didn't work out. I keep a Christmas list of items in my phone of items I want to buy myself. I know it sounds silly but it gets me through those times. i also bake and do some crafts and decorate. Have you tried Pinterest? I know some of these may sounds silly but they help me through it.