you need to check into a hospital if you are seriously thinking about suicide. it is not the answer. there is help out, you need to seek it. only you can take care of yourself. and being selfish is not taking care of yourself and that is what suicide is...a selfish act. think about those that love you and want to see you around.

and if your sister isn't trying to save your life, then she might have a problem that needs help to. no one should condone suicide

Well, going to therapy is a big step. Are you still going? If not, then you should. My therapist is very helpful. She actually remembers things I tell her.

I agree with angeleyes. I've lost 3 loved ones to suicide and it's just about completely destroyed me. It is the most selfish thing a human being could ever do. I'm not trying to attack you here, and I'm sorry if it seems that way, but suicide is not the answer. Take your sister, as an example... she says she would forgive you, but she would be left devastated. I also can't believe that she would even condone that. I forgive my loved ones for taking their lives. I know they were hurting too much, to go on... but that doesn't change the fact that they're gone or that my heart is still broken, and always will be. My life will never be the same again. You have to ask yourself, if it's worth destroying everyone who loves you. For me, it's not. I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that I've never thought about killing myself, but knowing that it would destroy so many people, is the only reason I haven't. I know it's hard to consider others when you're lost in your own pain. It makes us feel like we're the only ones in the world, or that nobody would even care if we were gone. I no longer believe that though, and that's what's kept me going for so long.


Like I said, I wasn't trying to attack, and I apologize if I offended you, in any way. I wish you the best and the strength to be able to pull through this. You're not alone, here. I've found DS to be an amazing support system. If you would like to, feel free to message me anytime if you'd like to talk. HUGS AND GB.

One thing I do is try to think of one thing that you need to stay around for. For instance::My family, I don't want my grand children to grow thinking that is a way to solve your problems. Finally, I don't have insurance, I don't want to leave the cost on my daughter.

Think of one thing that that you need to stick around for. Does matter how small it is. Do you have a dog that needs you? Any thing like that. I hope you feel better.

Please put Trigger in the content of your post. These type of posts can trigger very harmful and painful reaction from others. Thank you.. Hugs GB

I don't feel attacked. But I don't feel understood either. I don't happen to think it's ALWAYS a selfish thing. My parents are gone. My sister is really the only family I have. And she understands because she has seen me struggle with this for 40 years,. She would be ok.
Ah well. thanks anyway.

Jaclyn I think I understand what you feel. You think you have lost everything. Your ex was obviously no prize but you love him. The dogs are gone and you are feeling useless and unloved. Is that a part of this?

Suicide is not the way. There is a reason for you feeling alone for now. You now have a clean slate to start over. To make your life what you want. Please get the help you need to start a new life. While you feel all alone there are people who would miss you very much. People at work and on DS.

Hi, I don't know you, in fact I'm new here but I'll tell you this: by posting here you have something, somewhere buried deep inside you that doesn't want to leave this world yet. Fight for it. Fight for the help you need and know that you are NEVER truly alone. Just look here. People you don't know IRL care. I'll wager there are people around you that care. Get to the hospital.

I would be very sad, being new here, to not have a chance to get to know Jacklyn.

I'm on meds and I have therapy. I can't afford to be off to do the hospital. I'm going tomorrow to get to know a cat some people are wanting to re-home. Will probably get her. My brother gets married May 5th, which will be the first happy (though bittersweet) time we have had since my mother died 4 years ago. I'm just really really tired. I apologize for upsetting people. It was not my intention. I'm o.k.---thanks all.

First, sorry I misspelled your handle. Like I said, new here.

There is no need to apologize as far as I'm concerned. We are here to help and support each other, not judge. And you don't have to be o.k. There is nothing wrong with reaching out.

For what its worth, I looked for this thread purposely today to see if you posted anything else and to see how you're doing.

Take care,
-S

Thanks Sasika, I'm doing ok. I went and got a cat yesterday. She's 14 years old. Her family just had twins and felt she was "too" interested in them. They wanted to re-home her. One of the ladies at one of the animal groups here knew I had to give my dog up and that I was wanting another pet, so she called me. Right now we are in the "I don't know what's going on so I'm going to stay hiding under the bed" stage.
Tomorrow I'm going with some friends to see a Royal Horse gala thing. Just getting through things one hour at a time.
I'm alright. Thanks for asking..I hope all is well with you.

I sent you a friend request and also tried to send a personal message but it wouldn't allow me to finish it. However, I can truly understand how you were feeling when you wrote this post. I, too, suffer with major depression and have been experiencing the same thoughts. I would like to have a personal message with you if possible.