Well, the anger is not helping you w/your depression. They say repressed anger just adds to it. I had a very difficult person for a mother. We are estranged. I think it is best for me. One time she asked me to forgive her, I told her I could forgive, but not forget everything she did.
I didn't even begin to know how messed up things were until I saw a really good therapist. I spent big time money on it, but my life is improved greatly.
Sometimes forgiveness is good, but if someone has been abusive I don't think that necessarily means you can just wipe the slate clean after that.

. Forgiveness is being able to let go of what those actions did to you I have had a hard time forgiving until I realized it is not saying the other persons actions were right in how I was being treated......I was able forgive things a lot easier after this.

Well, maybe if you could look at it as the following, it may help......

Forgiving people is actually something you are doing for yourself. Forgiving releases the burden that has a hold on you. Forgiving means you can move on from those pains others have caused (and forgiving yourself also for the wrongs you may have done...self forgiveness is the hardest, IMO).

This doesn't always mean you have to have a re-connection with people, it doesn't mean they have to be a part of your life (unless you do so of your choosing) and you may never forget the wrong that has been done, but it does mean you can be free of the way it makes you feel.

*Hugs*

Anger is a survival tool. We use it to keep people at bay. It means that we can use our energy positively to motivate ourselves.\
However anger held for a long time is like a flame burning hotter and hotter and hotter until you can no longer hold onto it without burning yourself.
It is hard to forgive people, and if you feel unable to forgine them, why not try starting with acceptance, look at what the other person did and maybe the reasons why they did it. In an abuse situation this can be especially hard.

At the end of the day holding on to your anger is only hurting you, which doesn't solve anything. Letting go and accepting that what has happened is in the rear view mirror, it's there but you are focused on the road ahead.

Hope that makes sense
xxx

Ty for all of the positive comments. I can seem to hold onto everything wrong anyone has done to me! I hope I can change my life around by first starting with some of the great advise you all have shared.

Thanks a million!!!

yep .. an anger complex is TREMENDOUSLY destructive .. mostly to the angered.

Get on the 'anger management wagon' ... and ride it well. Anger is a very costly way to go.

forgiveness is letting go of things you cannot change .. most of which are things in the past.

Don't know where I read it but someone once said' Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself' I really understand that. I remember hating this girl who went with an ex and I swear I gave myself the disease I have wishing her harm. When you can't forgive it hurts you, anger and hatred is not healthy. I hated my mum until my early 30's, I realised that if we didn't make peace one of us would regret it if we died. Had to bite my tongue a lot but it does feel better

Anger can be depression turned inside out.
Anger can cause us physical illness
and anger is hard to get rid of:
After saying that, I still have anger issues and I have tried the forgiving but not forgetting, however, I am still receiving that anger because the cause of it still lives under my roof.
So I would say that I am probably the worse person to take any advice from. What I don't allow to happen to me however, is to stop loving and caring and being supportive, because I cannot blame the world for one. I hope you find all the support you deserve here, and find the advice you are looking for.

Have you ever heard of the West Nickel Mines School? In 2006 a gunmen went into a Amish community and shot 10 girls while there were in school. 5 of them died...Do you know what that Amish community did? They forgave the shooter. They didn't pardon what was done, it was to create the first step in moving forward.

HUGS