I am absolutely thrilled that you are still here.(((HUG)))

Thank you, is it normal to think about and get a little down and anxiuos

Yes anniversaries can be triggers. A few people have said on DS that certain times of the year can just add to their moods my self included. Might be an idea if you can to ask those that have known you for awhile. family member etc If they notice your worse on certain times of the year . If you do keep a mood diary that helps to.

Thank you for your advice generally hide my depression really well most people who know me think I'm better know tgen tgen , but I still feel pretty depressed and negativity and suicidal alot, mostly just thoughts but I don't feel like it is better when family are around I go in bathroom when I cry so no one will know

Maybe think about the blessing that was given, you got another chance. I am sorry you are down and I know it is easier said than done, but I am glad u are here too!!!

Thank u, it will be two years November 30 2010

Yeah, I've heard some others on DS say those anniversaries get them down. It makes sense ... you're remembering how bad you felt back then.

I hope you get through the anniversary all right. Do something really nice for yourself; you deserve it.

{{{{hugs}}}}

Do you have a therapist you're working with? This might be a good time to get extra support since you know it's an anniversary for you. And I would say to be extra nice and gentle with your'self throughout this month. And keep reaching out and talking about what's going on with you. We're here for you! Blessings and peace.

Thank you for all the support, I haven't been to a therapist in almost a year, my therapist ticked me off so I didn't want tO go back, and know she doesn't work there anymore so I'm not sure whereto go anymore, I feel have no one really or I feel bad by bringing up bad stuff and bringing other people down and if I start talking about my illness I get told to quit it, I'm glad I have this place.

I've had 3 attempts in the past 10yrs. Usually drunk when I tried as to why I failed. I barely remember them and one time I rolled my truck down a hill. You think I'd remember that one. Thing is, no one in my family knew about them so they think I am just fine. They don't even acknowledge the fact that I went to rehab earlier this year. So I guess it wouldn't matter if I told them. I have always tended to expand out online to make friends. At least know that if no one in your family will listen that we are here. :)

You should consider seasonal depression. An overwhelming majority of folks get depressed around the holidays. You may not be conscious of why but it happens.
Be strong...

I hope the next timevi try I wont be back. It's always worse winter but it's bad most of the time

Thank God you are still here hon. You know we are always here for you and will do whatever we can to support you and be here when you need to talk. Talking to people who understand is so important! Hugs honey.