I have found that friends and family usually cannot do anything about 'my depression'. As you observe, .. they get concerned .. don't know what to do about it, CAN'T do much about it, eventually they get frustrated, and even angry .. and even 'pull away'.

I keep my depression to myself .. unless I share it with the medical profession and perhaps DS. The 'average' person doesn't know what to do with my depression.

I should add .. there is nothing wrong with your discussing it with your family/friends. 'To each his own'.

You are much younger than I am, and may (justifiably) need that kind of support more than I would.

Yes I can feel guilty when I talk about certain things that make me uncomfortable. At first I don't feel guilty but sometimes after thinking about it I say why did I say that. All you can do is learn from this and not do things you don't feel comfortable doing. We all can make mistakes.

thanks for your advise. Just wish I knew sooner that its better to hide your feelings rather than share them. Its not fun being treated differently that is for sure.

I'm and old guy too, but I believe in sharing with those that I know really care for me. That your family feels concern is I think a very good thing. They may not know what to do to help you, but keeping it inside is not a good practice either. "We are only as sick as our secrets".

We must use discernment in who we choose to speak with for not everyone can handle the information or be helpful. I'm so glad you are here because I find this a wonderful and supportive community of people who can understand and respond with compassion. Be well friend.

Hi, MaryBerry1. I feel a little sad myself reading your post - not because you've remotely overshared, but because I have often worried about the exact same thing. I'd like to try to explicate some of the ideas I think I might see at work here. Please feel free, of course, to correct me if I'm wrong.

One issue I struggle with regarding depression is immense, uncontrollable, and pervasive feelings of guilt. Guilt is closely tied to our sense of selves as burdens on others. This, then, is closely tied to a dislike of opening up, because depression is heavy for those of us who experience and are very familiar with it, let alone for someone who knows relatively little.

However, like many depression-related phenomenons, I firmly believe this is just another trick our minds play on us. Sometimes people cry "for no reason," are frustrated at their inability to enjoy something they KNOW makes them happy, or falsely believe someone dislikes them because of imagined social cues. The sense that we're burdening the people we love can very well be imagined, too.

If someone wants to share, I think they ought to, though in the same way you would share anything else that's understandably a little grim: with the people you are closest with, whom you can trust will at least try to understand the material you're talking about even if they haven't experienced it themselves, or, in the least, will be a good listener when you need to be heard or an adviser when you'd like some advice. That's just my opinion, though :) Best of luck, MaryBerry. It's very rarely easy to handle these types of things.

*Hugs*

Elle

Nope not for one second am I embarrassed.I wear my depression like an old favorite shirt for all to see.... Obviously I was being facetious but I do have a point to make.If you can't be open and honest with those closest to you then please find someone you can talk to. Keeping everything to yourself will backfire. You might have to be careful with friends and family. But a counselor or therapist will listen and tell you whether or not to be worried. Another thing I would have loved to have someone that was worried even a little bit. I didn't have a lot of support with my depression when it was at it's worst. Please take care of yourself and always put being well above any embarrassment. Best wishes to you ((( HUGS )))