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My ex and I have been hanging out and things are going pretty good. He even said he can see us long term.
Last week I made a BIG mistake. I was checking my email on his computer and he left his facebook up. I looked at it. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Anyway, on there he was flirting with a girl he works with and asked for her number.
That was over a month ago and he hasn't even gone on a date with her. And even if he did, he has every right too. He is my ex, I understand that. He is my ex because I broke up with him. Just because I want him back now isn't going to magically get him to take me back.
Still, I am finding myself obsessed with thoughts of him and her. I am such an idiot, I should NEVER have looked at his facebook. But I did, and I can't unlearn what I learned. I keep picturing him ending up with her and how nice it would be because they work together. She is so pretty too.
I can't sleep at night. I should be happy because he really seems to want to work things out with me, he has been so affectionate lately with me. But I cannot get this girl out of my head.
Help! I am LITERALLY going crazy, obsessive here. I need some advice badly.
Last week I made a BIG mistake. I was checking my email on his computer and he left his facebook up. I looked at it. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Anyway, on there he was flirting with a girl he works with and asked for her number.
That was over a month ago and he hasn't even gone on a date with her. And even if he did, he has every right too. He is my ex, I understand that. He is my ex because I broke up with him. Just because I want him back now isn't going to magically get him to take me back.
Still, I am finding myself obsessed with thoughts of him and her. I am such an idiot, I should NEVER have looked at his facebook. But I did, and I can't unlearn what I learned. I keep picturing him ending up with her and how nice it would be because they work together. She is so pretty too.
I can't sleep at night. I should be happy because he really seems to want to work things out with me, he has been so affectionate lately with me. But I cannot get this girl out of my head.
Help! I am LITERALLY going crazy, obsessive here. I need some advice badly.
You did nothing wrong. You just found out a fact. He wants to sleep with his coworker. He also would (probably) like to sleep with you.
That means he is USING you. He is slime.
Please do not be upset with yourself for finding out the fact that he is slime. You just prevented a big hurt that was going to come.
I am sorry you are upset now. But you did nothing wrong. He did.
You are desperately hanging on to someone who is keeping you hanging on, in case things don't work out and he wants to have sex. It happens all the time, to women and men who get involved with that very typical type of person.
You can torture yourself for weeks, months, years, but you can --never--
change him. You are an option. Not first choice, not someone he will one day suddenly realize that you are the one he really loves -- maybe in a movie. You are not the only person to end up in this situation, but
the longer you stay stuck in it, the more of your life you are wasting. Sometimes we stay in hopeless non-romances, just to feel something. You get to experience all kinds of intense emotion: excitement - yippie,
he graced me with a call. fear - he hasn't called today and he didn't call yesterday.... anger -- why doesn't he call me???? You can dangle for years (trust me) --- it's your life, and your choice.
You keep mentioning, in other posts, all the guilt over dumping him --- you broke up with him because you weren't getting what you needed from the relationship. End of story.
This drama has nothing to do with him, and hasn't for a long time. You
are not going crazy ---- you're DRIVING yourself crazy.
Read all your posts on this board. Twice.
Then, wait for the phone to ring, if that's what you want to do.
I don't think he did anything wrong if they broke up, personally. He is, as she stated, his ex.. and that means he had the freedom, at the time, to flirt with anyone he wanted to, and asking for someone's number isn't entirely a horrible thing either. Talking doesn't mean their hooking up, either.
If he is committed to you now, then there is nothing to worry about.. However, with the amount of jealousy (or at least it sounds that way) and what seems like, insecurity, you may want to try speaking to someone about it.
Why are you so upset about it all?
Has he ever cheated in the past?
Do you feel like you can trust him?
Etc. Etc. Etc.
I've been there, with the jealousy and obsessive thoughts.. It wasn't fun, and in the end ruined our already terribly ruined relationship. During the end of our relationship, I was simply exhausted with worrying about other people, and not myself. It's never worth it to stir yourself so much into a frenzy on the what-ifs. It's just a terrible feeling no matter what happens.
Other then that you're talking to a lot of other people. What about talking to each other about it all.