Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I think about suicide all the time. I wish I could put a bullet in my brain.
But I don't have the guts to buy a gun, so I just suffer. Everyday is torment
and I don't know how to make it stop. I beg god every night to take me in
my sleep. But he doesn't care. I don't know how much longer I can go on
like this. I have horrible memories that haunt me every day and in my
dreams. They torture me. I want to be free of this life. I hate everything
about it. I hate living in this body, having to feed, bathe, clothe and shelter
it is exhausting. I wish so badly this miserable life was over.
But I don't have the guts to buy a gun, so I just suffer. Everyday is torment
and I don't know how to make it stop. I beg god every night to take me in
my sleep. But he doesn't care. I don't know how much longer I can go on
like this. I have horrible memories that haunt me every day and in my
dreams. They torture me. I want to be free of this life. I hate everything
about it. I hate living in this body, having to feed, bathe, clothe and shelter
it is exhausting. I wish so badly this miserable life was over.
I also agree it might be worth a break from appts etc. A holiday could just be a borrowed tent and tin food just to get away and reflect on where you're going in your life. Sometimes distance from your life gets more answers. Hospital stays do not count as a holiday btw as nothing relaxing about a physic hospital.
I truthfully have the same feelings as you, the only differences is that I'm much older than you and I can't work.
Someone suggested a vacation....with all you've endured perhaps you have a severe case of burnout from all the struggling, who wouldn't????
Is there any way you could just take even one full day and get away from work, your
home, etc. and just leave it all behind?
I dearly wish I had some constructive ideas for you but taking that day off is the only thing I can come up with.
If nothing else, I hope knowing you aren't the only one that is thinking like this is of some comfort to you.
Wishing you peace and hope for a better tomorrow!!!
I also beg GOD to take me & do my dirty work but I've been so far ignored..as if this life is some kind of punishment/incarceration for sins committed this life-time or a combination of previous ones..at least take some solace in that you are not alone..
I know that there are people who definitely want to die (and who don't) and people who don't want to die and have every reason to life (and they don't have a choice).
I can't give you advice (which I don't think you want anyway) but I do hope that you find healing in your life.
I know I don't even know you, but I've found a good one w a sliding scale a couple months ago, and its so much better than the nonsense I was putting up with using my insurance carriers.