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Even though the abuse ended when I was eight years old and I am almost 49 years old, I still feel violated by the man who ruined my life. Saturday night is a birthday dinner for him and not only am I NOT going but I feel like I want to boycott the thing. I hate him so much and please don't tell me to forgive, let it go, get over it, it never happened, that I'm crazy, or that I can't afford to hold on to such resentments because right now my anger and rage at him are all I have right now. And I am NOT ashamed to feel what I feel. I am tired of people who don't get what it's like and think I can just do whatever needs to be done. People have no idea how hard it is for me to do simple things like clean the house or try to make some money to help my family. Maybe staying angry is the best thing that's ever happened to me. At least my anger is honest and based on reality unlike people's lies and schemes that are only meant to cover up their evil ways. Thanks for listening.....just trying to cope right now and need to get myself centered, but it's hard.
Peace in your heart, love for tomorrow.
I'm not going to tell you to not be mad or that I understand how you feel or anything like that but I do know one thing for sure.
You will never heal from something like that if you don't confront the person. I've been in similar situations and unloading on the person that wronged me did wonders for not only my anger issues but also my self esteem. What happened is not your fault and you have every right to be angry but you have to direct that anger at the person who did this.
If you've already done this than I apologize but this is the only way you will be able to let go. Be strong and yell if you have too but get it out please.
All I will say is what is the anger achieving for you? What is it doing to you?
In my opinion, anger only serves to hurt us more, we are carrying around that negativity. Please don't misunderstand me, I am not saying let go of what happened, or get over it, just that, maybe there is a way that you can lessen the anger. Being angry for so long, you might just be missing out on things
I am here for you and I hope that venting helped. I agree that boycotting the dinner is a good idea
Thinking of you
xxx