Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
To start off I am not suicidal. If you read my bio you will know a little about me. I guess what I am looking for is some answers, maybe some attaboys or something similar. I would like to spill my guts and then ask why am I considered the bad guy.
Keep your own privacy in mind though .. that is a good idea anywhere on DS.
Glad you found and joined DS. Journals are a good place to 'put stuff'. For more support, public posts work best.
I did read your profile - how old are your sons? I am sorry about the job loss - been there myself.
Hugs
On Saturday March 20th we got in a huge argument and I grounded him for two months.
Monday March 22 I got a call from my son Jakob. He was crying and he told me that his mothers boyfriend hit him in the head and then took away his night-light. Jakob is deathly afraid of the dark, so you can see how this affects him. Jakob told me it's because he hit the boyfriend in the back with a ball in his hand.
Wednesday March 24. I was leaving to pick up Joey at school when Jakob told me and his older cousin what truly happened on Monday. Apparently the boyfriend does not like Jakob and terrorizes him whenever he thinks he can get away with it. That Monday he dropped this hard rubber ball onto Jakobs chest while he was lying down on the floor watching TV. Jakob got up and with the ball in his hand hit the boyfriend in his back. The boyfriend turned and punched Jakob in his head with his knuckles. It must have been severe, because his mother would not allow Jakob to fall asleep (concusion) This enraged me. As I was picking up Joey, he was telling his friend how his F-ing dad grounded him for two months. When I questioned Joey, he lied. I snapped and backhand punched him 4 times in his upper arm.
His mother found out about this and called child services. I was arrested for physical abuse to a child.
She is now trying to get full sole custody of the boys. Joey is so upset with her and does not want this to happen. I have a no contact order so I cannot even find out how he is doing. Jakob hates living at his mothers mainly because the boyfriend lives there.
I met with a Guardian Ad Litem yesterday and it really does not look good for me.
I know what I did was wrong, but I don't/didn't think I am a bad guy. How can a stranger sum up what type of person you are in just 30 minutes.
So after reading this...am I a bad guy? Am I a bad father? The future of my family is being decided by strangers.
This is why I need help...
I don't know who your 'best' advocate is, but you need one. Your story has a lot of issues within it .. your mistake, this abusive boyfriend, a rebellious 14 year old, and other complicated issues.
The one thing that comes out the most to me is the abuse of a child by the boyfriend. I would REALLY like to know that Jakob has told someone like Child Services what happened with the boyfriend and the ball. It would be best if it came from Jakob himself.
I think you really screwed up with the physical assault on Joey but the boyfriend problem with Jakob seems to be more urgent. That problem needs to come forth and it would be best if it came from Jakob himself rather than you .. as it would give the situation more validity coming from Jakob.
Obviously, physical 'violence' has to be totally off the table .. but that goes without saying. There are a lot of problems but this one bothers me the most:
"boyfriend does not like Jakob and terrorizes him whenever he thinks he can get away with it."
I hope that I can be of help to you---I've been through a lot myself!!
Tom B. aka Ihman