Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I've just been thinking lately... I was raised catholic, went to catholic school, was taught the values and beliefs of christianity. I experiences more judgmental and cruelty and importance of materialism and money and status in the church than we did outside of it. As I got older, I tried going back to church in order to understand why so many people found strength in the Lord. I never felt anything. This then made me feel more isolated, and in a way still does. I want to have this magic source of unconditional love and strength... Why can't I receive it. I feel like I've always lived my life trying to be a good person, forgiving those who didn't really deserve to be forgiven, overcoming obstacles I didn't cause at a young age experiencing hardship and PTSD amongst addiction issues... I'm just wondering, why do some people find their answer strength hope and faith in God, but even though i've been open, I just don't feel that. Have I not hit my ultimate low yet, I mean I've been suicidal at times and no one was there. The only thing that got me through was myself. I believe in science but I believe that has to be some higher power, whatever it may be. Am I hopeless or just confused...
Sunset, the thing about it is that faith is not a promise of an easy life without trial and pain. It does not mean you've lost a thing, it means life chips away at us. The way you feel is not punishment for anything you've done and wonderful things you've done do not buy you out of pain and life. I can't really answer why some feel anything... keep searching if you feel you are missing something. Hugs.
We find God, or what ever is out there that made us, in our own way. Wether its through science or religion. Science works for us.
You are right about(SOME) religious people. They are on a different planet, and wouldnt know compassion if it shat on their faces. I have come across the most horrible people that claim to be christian in my life. I see televangalists selling false hope to people and not feeling bad about it one bit. The religion has become about money.
They get that money tax free. They have "gift" shops attached to most churches, and if its not attached, its close by. They sell the name of Jesus. Jesus has turned into a brand name, so that should tell you about the christian faith.
They sell mugs, cards, christian CD's with his name all over it. They even sell the bible which should be free. Holy water, holy oil..the list goes on and on.
They hate gay people. Then they claim to be holy..bullshit.
So you are not lost or confused, you are just a rational thinking person, who quit believing in fairy tales.
You're just young lol. The depth of wisdom comes from age and experience.
Meantime, try to relax more, sink into the black well, learn to enjoy the blackness, and focus on that source, that higher power, even if you have to be angry with it. It wants some kind of attention, and it does indeed love you.
When I'm feeling anxious, I try to focus on one thing, and stay focused on it, with all my mind and heart. I even glare at it, angrily at times, and it just stares at me across the black void, non-judgmentally, no emotion whatsoever, except that it wants me to love it, and come to it, so I do, and then I usually fall asleep, waking up later rejuvinated.
This is why I know God exists. He restores us every time we fall asleep, and travel somewhere "else", outside our bodies.
Hope this helps!
Maybe, focused on him, you'll make the right connection and get into the right career, that may not be what YOU had in mind, but is what HE has in mind FOR YOU.