Just wanted to say. I'm sure none of us know what to say to you. But I hear you and have been there!

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate, A lot of times large local churches have support groups for depression and anxiety. Is there someone you can talk to ? Also keeping busy really helps , it keeps the mind focused. Post here often , it also helps to be able to write about the things you are going through even if there is no one to talk to. We do care and know that we want you to get better.

Sorry for you pain. You're not going crazy, sounds like your overwhelmed. Please take care of yourself.

Wishiing You Peace and Joy
LeiC

i can understand where u are coming from, i feel tierd all the time for alot of the same reasons, i sometimes wish i didnt have a care in the world and be selfish but im a single mum and i have to do my best for my kids and this has been blocking me from sorting myself out, i dont want to fight my way threw life i just want to be happy... although im not sure how to be but i am determind to try i am generally the one who will give my friends support threw what ever they are going threw but never really let them in to my head and heart i have learnt if i dont get emotionally involved i carnt get hurt,
im in my early 30s now and if i dont change my feelings of worthlessness now i am going to end up pushing every1 i care about away, i must admit i will actively hide in my house and not answer the door or phone to friends if i am having a down day, i dont really know why i do this maybe because i am ashamed that by my age i still havnt sorted my head out and dont want to admit to people in my life how bad i truely feel, also because i dont like confiding in people, recently i confided in a so called good friend that i was thinking about looking at private therapy... we were out a few weeks ago and had a drunken argument over something and nothing, i took myself out of the situation and went back to my hotel room, i woke up the next morning worried that i had lost the freindship, i tried ringing and texting her but she ignored me. i decided to go home early (we were on a spa break) i was outside ready to go, she came out with others in our group which made me very uncomfortable and paranoid she made me apologise for the row which i did to avoid falling out... then she procedded to say in forunt of people u need proffesional help there is something wrong with your head. i was so shocked and upset that i confided in her and she revieled that infrount of every1 i cried all the way home and went to bed for the rest of the day. this has left me not knowing if she really is a freind or maybe she is just one of those people who feed off drama....

anyway im am here for u if u need a chat dont b a stanger
big hugs

Kelly - I have tried some churches. The support groups where for general issues like marriage, pre-marriage, death, and other unrelated issues. I talk to a few people, but they are not helpful.

Liab15 - Yes, it is hard to know who to trust. I told my sister something that happened between me and a girl where I live and my sister told everyone in the family. This is why I come on here. I can talk freely and I don't have to worry about my family or husband hearing things. The only thing I keep private is my last name for security reasons. I also kinda understood what you were talking about when you said you are a single mom. I am not one, but my husband does not help me with anything. All he does is give me money, but I have to do things for it. I have to do sexual things like I am some prostitute! I would probably make more money if I prostituted!

I definitely understand, or at least have been through similar. Have you looked into local colleges for support groups or even free counseling? Some colleges offer counseling for free to the community, such as the University of Texas of San Antonio. It might be a way to find someone to talk to.

But, good luck with everything and I hope everything gets better for you.