yeah...WV speaks the truth....

I was procrastinating, dreading, avoiding, etc.....telling anyone how I felt....I didnt have a therapist....

I ended up telling my son's therapist...(basically she kept me sane too)

but not telling .....I wrote it down....just a few sentences.....and shook while I handed it to her.

She got the message and took the steps to save my life.....It did take 6 days inpatient.
I bet you wont have to be admitted.....just tell him or her what you;re going through, or write it, and not have to say it at all out loud.

~peace vibes~

You go get help . wherever it is .. and come out with a better life. If you give yourself over to help, and you take the help, you will have something you do not have now .. it is time to gain something for yourself. Getting the help can be the beginning of a new and more normal life for you. Look and you will find. Eyes open. Listen and learn. You will come out a greater person.

If I can't sign the contract tomorrow I will end up in the hospital. And if I'm in the state I am now there's no way I can sign it.

"I will end up in the hospital"

Why would that be a bad thing?

I've been there over 6 times in the past 2 years. The only help it gives is keeping me alive, until I can convince them that I'm able to do that on my own. The nurses hate me already. It just doesn't seem to really help me in any way.

"It just doesn't seem to really help me in any way."

Why is that? Why can't you be helped? What do you think the problem is?

The problem with the hospital? They don't actually do anything there except lock me up and put me on meds (which I wouldn't mind if they actually helped). They don't even talk to me, except to criticize.

Why can't I be helped? I don't know. Maybe I can. Maybe there is help for me out there somewhere, though I haven't found it yet. It's just so painful for me that I don't know if I can survive another day living like this.

so, hospitals dont make you feel any better thats o.k im sure you have somehing contructive that you do that always make you happy for a little while

not that I know of.

how about movies, it a movie in the sates called scott pilgram vs the world. that i want to see its about a kid who has to fight seven evil ex`s in order to get the girl of his dreams. sounds funny
any movies you seen or wanna see

"Maybe I can. Maybe there is help for me out there somewhere, though I haven't found it yet."

Maybe it is not OUT there but it is IN there. Inside YOU. Looking outside won't find it .. looking inside will.

I can't stay up any later. I have an important day tomorrow and have to sign off.

Go to your therapist appointment. Tell her that you think maybe the answer is not on the outside .. but it is INSIDE you. Tell her you want her to help you find it .. inside because you think that is where it is.

You have to learn some things .. maybe about something(s) that happened to you or find out why you are so upset and having a hard time. When you find out why that is, you can then get those things worked out in your mind and not be bothered by them. THEN you will be at the doorway of the solution. The problems are inside .. and the solutions are inside. Let your therapist 'get in there' and get those things out .. so you can have a normal life.

This would be better than cutting yourself or going to the hospital, or anything else because you are now facing and solving the problem. You will make huge progress. Your life will change big time when you get things inside straightened out and your therapist can help you do that without going to the hospital.

She is waiting for you to realize this so you can start to heal. Tell her you are ready and want her to help you with it.

Good night to you. Have a peaceful night. Tomorrow, you will begin to get well if you will ask her to help you find the answers inside.