Glad to see you still have a sense of humor, even in the crisis center! What you describe sounds like my anxiety. Uncontrolled it really gets me into messes. I can't think clearly. Are you being treated for anxiety at all?

Was getting alsorts of different treatment for years, was on medication managed to get off that after i always thought i would be reliant on that, just six months down the line this shitty depression illness is starting to hit me again, i got a wild imagination so when things go wrong for me its a dark dark time i have inside my head, I always have a sense of humor, if i didnt i would be dead probably!

Why did you get off the meds? I certainly understand if it was side-effects related... depending on the med, the side-effects can be debilitating. But I wonder, if you started feeling worse after you stopped the meds, maybe getting back on them would help? Of course you need to talk to your doctor first and foremost...

Anxiety will put all sorts of stuff in your head... not a good place to be. Would you consider talking to your doctor? I am so glad you at least recognize that the things going on in your mind are not always a reflection of the things around you. Again, my brain gets me in real trouble if I'm not careful...

Yeh i started to write down all stuff thats priority in life and what i need to do while im feeling ok and then do them and try to ignore the negative shit when im feeling down, alot more practice needed though cause thats still quite difficult!

It sucks, doesn\'t it?
Something can be so simple, yet your brain grabs hold of it, and won\'t let go, and the more you try to calm down, the more it takes control. I had a panic attack so bad once in an airport because they canceled my flight, that they called an ambulance and police, and escorted me out of the airport and made me wait til the next day before they\'d let me back in.
It\'s like, once my brain gets anxious or panics, I can\'t stop. Meds do nothing. All I ever want to do is die. Yesterday on the road, I contemplated dropping the car into 1st gear and making a sharp left turn across 3 lanes of traffic into the side of an 18 wheeler...
Somehow I kept myself from doing that. But I couldn\'t help but want to do it. I don\'t know why depression has a hold over me. But it does. And anxiety and panic seems to come along with the territory.
Good luck with the darkness in your head. I don\'t think there\'s any cure. At least that I\'ve found.

Least i know on here that im not alone and that other people have the same thoughts and fears thats a little bit reasuring, i belive there is hope and with that comes a cure very difficult but u need to belive.