Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
My friend of 12 years is depressed and suicidal. In his "good moments" he says he'd never do it, and so far, the 12 yrs ive known him, he hasnt. But I feel like I'm running out of words for him. I feel inefficient. He seeks contact and I don't know what to say, it feels like it doesnt matter. Everything i come up with feels pathetic.
But i can't not answer.
But what do you say to someone who is basically saying goodbye. Or like today where I get a
"It would be so nice to feel the knife against my throat, see life run out of me, if this pathetic existens can be called a life."
what do I say to that? All I come up with is sending him a "hug", but what is a text message hug gonna do? Nothing.
Ive been doing this for so long, And I think lately I have become a lot better at handling certain things. Like I can accept that there is no right answer to what to say. I'll handle it my way that's all i can do. But I don't know what "handling it my way" is anymore.
Any insights? Ideas? Words of wisdom? Anything??
I just feel so lost and unable. Inefficient, Helpless. I know I can't "save" him, maybe what I answer doesn't really matter as long as I DO answer. Last thing to do is to ignore him. Just feel so...i don't even know anymore
Posted on 11/18/13, 06:42 am
But i can't not answer.
But what do you say to someone who is basically saying goodbye. Or like today where I get a
"It would be so nice to feel the knife against my throat, see life run out of me, if this pathetic existens can be called a life."
what do I say to that? All I come up with is sending him a "hug", but what is a text message hug gonna do? Nothing.
Ive been doing this for so long, And I think lately I have become a lot better at handling certain things. Like I can accept that there is no right answer to what to say. I'll handle it my way that's all i can do. But I don't know what "handling it my way" is anymore.
Any insights? Ideas? Words of wisdom? Anything??
I just feel so lost and unable. Inefficient, Helpless. I know I can't "save" him, maybe what I answer doesn't really matter as long as I DO answer. Last thing to do is to ignore him. Just feel so...i don't even know anymore
Posted on 11/18/13, 06:42 am
I do not envy you. I am so sorry you're going through this!!! You are not alone- supporting a person who is depressed is awfully hard! There are many good people here with lots of goo advice. But you must known you cannot save him like you say. People make their own decisions and their own life! No one else can begin to help them. Just be there as you are- but make sure you take care of you first and foremost. It's what matters most.
I've learned the hard way that yes, I do need to take care of me too and I'm trying to not let his state effect my life too much. I won't just drop everything and run to him as I used to. If nothing else it's gotten a lot harder since we do not live close to each other.
Anyway, I'm rambling. Thank you for your reply. All I can do is my best, so I'll keep doing that.
thanks
Yes... Take care of you. Ensure you are happy and healthy above all else. That will help him too... It'll help him to see the good in life and to know you still have him in yours when things are good.
Please continue chatting anytime:). Lately the boards have been much quieter than usual so stick around :). I'm sure more people will come on for you to make connections with also. But for now I welcome you. :)