Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
Hi folks- New to the group and I'm sure stories like this get posted all the time. I've been married for 6 years, with my partner for 9, and lately, I'm just feeling worn down to an edge. My husband struggles with anxiety and depression. After a rough patch, he agreed to go on medication and do therapy, and actually seems to like his therapist. (I also regularly see a therapist.)
But honestly, sometimes I feel like he thinks of his therapist as a friend, and I'm the one he can always come home to and dump on. In the last three years, he's been through multiple jobs and complains about each one. Of course, everyone complains about their job now and then, but this is extreme. He rages about the "injustices" he faces. This isn't just one job. It's every job since I've known him. Right now, he has a great gig - working for a big magazine and making a great salary - but he fixates on the poor performance of a subordinate and at home endlessly denigrates this person and says that he's dragged down by their poor performance.
I can't begin to count the number of times he's called me at work wanting to vent and be angry about something. His insecurities and anxiety rear their multiple ugly heads, and I feel like there's no room for me to breathe underneath all his anger. (Not to mention it affects my own work, which I love.) His anger isn't directed at me and I love him so so much, but sometimes it gets hard to smile and listen and be understanding when I've had a hard week myself.
Tonight's a tough night. I try and do everything you're supposed to do - stay in touch with friends, see my own therapist, meditate, do my own thing - but for whatever reason, tonight Im tired of benigma the dishrag that soaks up all his anger and depression. I feel sad and lonely, aNFL I don't want to see him tonight, because he'll only make me feel lower.
I guess I'm not asking anything in particular. Just need to do some venting of my own. Thanks for the space to do that. My heart goes out to everyone who's struggling with a situation like this. Thanks for listening.
The most important thing is, like you said, to do your thing. You have to keep a certain distance to not be dragged down yourself. Even if the distance is only mental. I've had to learn that because whatever my friend was doing or saying was ruling my life.
Again at least I don't live with him, I hope you find places you can breathe our for a moment.
I think it's great both of you are going to therapists. We need support to have the energy to keep supporting them.