Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
My wife was diagnosed with depression a few years ago but didn't take it seriously. Syptoms lessened and gradually I got my wife back. Then, out of the blue, she relapsed which ended us in couples therapy. She was supportive through it and I thought we had made progress. We now have a baby girl together and purchased a house. She might be having a case of delayed post-partum mixed with her depression. At any rate, I hate the ugly side pf depression. I don't receognize my wife anymore. She's constntly tired and eveything I do or say makes it worse for her. I don't want to leave her either. She's the centre of my world. Our baby needs both of us to be around.
I know depression makes those affacted by it seem like they don't give a damn about anything. I know my wife loves me (she shows it on occasion). Our sex life is null but I'm ready to bite the bullet on that one. I have been for close to a year. She deflects anything I say positively then attacks me on the grounds I only speak negatively around her, about my job, about politics, about anything...
She recently started getting help for her depression. I know I should also seek help for it but I'm not really sure where to start. My office doesn't offer employee benefits and I can't afford a thereapist on top of my wife's. This just literarely sucks! I feel like she's a mealstrom and I'm getting sucked into the deep with her.
I'm trying this as a start to help myself.
I don't know...
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Hi All.... It's great to see all of the new people joining the site... I'm loving it!!...smileI'm not sure if people are aware that if you don't have Bipolar Disorder but have a loved one who has the disorder we do have a board for people to go to in order to share their experiences and seek friendship, support or adviseIt's the Friends and Family of Bipolar Board.... I hope you'll take a...
All you can really do is be supportive, but don't let her be mean or nasty to you. She can be depressed, it doesn't mean she has to be mean to you as well. If her Dr. puts her on meds, it can take a few weeks for them to kick in. Hopefully she'll respond well to the help that she's getting.
Unfortunately there's really not much you can do except be supportive...just remember there's a big difference between supportive and "walked on" or "enabling".
It's incredibly hard when you want to be with someone, to be there for them but you feel like you're getting sucked down. I know I've been guilty at times of just giving in and letting myself sink into the depression right along with my wife. I've tried lately to stay off to the side rather than sink in, but in such a way that I make sure I'm still in view, still close, so she knows she's supported even if I can't listen to her tell me about all the terrible things that happened that day again. I do little things like bring her some tea when she's studying or squeeze her shoulder as I walk by. I'll be honest, I don't know how much she notices but it helps me to be able to take care of myself and still let her know I'm there.
I know your post was a few months back. I hope that was a good first step to finding help and that things are improving for you.