Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
hello I’ve never written on anything like this before but I really need some support. Ive been with my partner for two years, he’s my best friend and we have what everyone would see as a great relationship. However last Christmas out of the blue he tried to push me away. From this he admitted he feels so low and was relieved when he told me as he never has to anyone before. The year has flown and even though I’ve tried to support him into receiving professional help, which he said he would do alone, we have very busy lives and time has past.
Recently I’d been feeling anxious about winter as this all started creeping in last October. He was sleeping loads, eczema appeared, irritable and I felt like he just looked a bit different behind the eyes. My partner is what everyone thinks as a hyper giddy kid who almost has to perform in his job as he’s a hairdresser. They would never almost believe he could be down.
I was worried so the other day I asked how he was really doing and it all came out. After a day or so I booked an appointment to see a private therapist for myself ( in a way to hope he might follow suit) the next day I suggested perhaps he go instead. When I got home from work he ended things with me. Said if I need help because of him I’d be better off alone. That he’s thought this for a while and it’s something he should just do.
We are about to move house in 4 weeks and get a dog also. I knew this was a reaction to me pushing the therapy and really wished I hadn’t but it had been nearly a year and I knew it would show again. I said I wasn’t going anywhere and stayed in the home.
Yesterday he was off work almost curled in a ball(he’s never been off in four years) he does have a cold but I know it’s more to it. I have just said I’m not going anywhere, I love him and wont leave him.
I felt last night he had been off thinking in his own head too much so just put tv and it seemed like things had lifted a little. He doesn’t have anyone round here to talk too as he doesn’t feel can talk to family. His good friend lives miles away and is through today. Everyone on both sides loves us together and can see we can be very happy. But I need him to get help.
Im currently waiting from him to return from seeing his friend and hope that hearing from someone else, how we are a great team, he might listen.
He says as he did this to me at Christmas last year he couldn’t do it to me again. But he never left and to me it’s the same problem we just haven’t dealt with it. I’m willing to go through it all with him as he means to much to me. I just don’t know how to make him see he doesn’t need to do it alone?
Thankyou for any support
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Hi All.... It's great to see all of the new people joining the site... I'm loving it!!...smileI'm not sure if people are aware that if you don't have Bipolar Disorder but have a loved one who has the disorder we do have a board for people to go to in order to share their experiences and seek friendship, support or adviseIt's the Friends and Family of Bipolar Board.... I hope you'll take a...
You can't make your partner realize all of this, he has to do it on his own. The more you push. or talk about it, or leave literature laying around or make round about remarks the more withdrawn and "far away" from you he will become. he will withdraw into himself until he just can't anymore and when it seems like he's either lost everything or is on the brink of losing everything, hopefully he'll realize that he needs professional help, but also it will be far different from the person you see. He'll want to keep his Pdoc, Therapists, etc. very separate from yours......because that's how depressed people work. At some point you'll just have to give him his space and hope he makes the right decisions.
He’s saying he’s doing the right thing for me. Will do what ever I want now with the house and dog what’s best for me.
I’ve just left the house and come for a walk and don’t know what to do next.
I don’t want to leave him but the other option is one of us gets a b&b or something until the house ready in four weeks. Am I best just being out of his way so he has time to see what life is like without me?