Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
I recently discovered that my highschool sweet heart. The man I secretly wished and thought I'd end up with someday, only realised the fullness of that too late, just got married.
I have seen a couple of guys after that relationship but never realised how good I had it until after that experience and I had matured.
Just as I realise, and I realise i'm ready for marriage (the main reason we broke up initially was because I wasn't ready for marriage having just left highschool).. I find out he get's married. There was never any closure or substantial reason for us to break up.
I thought he must have been my soul mate and I worry i've lost the thing I was meant to do.
I know that I can date and marry someone else - but I dont know that I can ever let this regret go.
Anyone else understand??? I feel so horrible.
It's grief on grief because I'm also dealing with bereavement at the moment and boyfriend problems obviously.
I have seen a couple of guys after that relationship but never realised how good I had it until after that experience and I had matured.
Just as I realise, and I realise i'm ready for marriage (the main reason we broke up initially was because I wasn't ready for marriage having just left highschool).. I find out he get's married. There was never any closure or substantial reason for us to break up.
I thought he must have been my soul mate and I worry i've lost the thing I was meant to do.
I know that I can date and marry someone else - but I dont know that I can ever let this regret go.
Anyone else understand??? I feel so horrible.
It's grief on grief because I'm also dealing with bereavement at the moment and boyfriend problems obviously.
To make a very long and complicated story short, I was dating my ex boyfriend for 2 years. A year into our relationship he joined the Navy and was stationed out in San Diego. We remained in close contact and I visited him out there often (I miss it out there so much!). In november of 2007 he tells me he wants to get married and when he comes home for Christmas leave, we'd look for rings...Christmas comes around...my grandmother passes away...not only does he refuse to go to the funeral with me, he refuses to SEE me...the whole week he was home, we didn't see each other. I was DESTROYED. I was given NO explanation, NOTHING. Needless to say, we broke up. We went about 2 months without contact and then in March of 2008 we started talking again. Big mistake but I was still so in love with him despite his childish and cowardly actions. He promises me that he'll fix it and things will be ok. In April of 08, I get an email (yes, an email) from him stating that he met the girl of his dreams and was going to marry her. 3 months later, he's home and there's a wedding. The end.
We never spoke again.
It took me a good 8 months to get over him...8 months of ANGER and resentment. But in those 8 months, I grew SO much stronger and realized the strengths I possessed. I didn't allow myself to become bitter and miserable. I grew from it. I became a better person because of it.
That's all you can do. Allow this to become a learning experience. Develop new coping skills. Learn to love yourself, above all. It's a way to discover the healing powers you possess...a way to turn inward for comfort and to truly let yourself be your support and best friend.
Again, I know this was posted back in October and hopefully you're feeling better. Hang in there.
Spirit13, I wonder if you've met someone else?
My high-school boyfriend married another woman after we broke up, I realized what I had taken for granted and lost. I was 30 when I met Mr. Right but didn't realize he was the one until I was 37. After I made that realization I really appreciated him! Then I found out my ex got a divorce. Right when I was getting married for the first time, he was getting a divorce. Now we found each other on the internet and are "friends". I am glad we do not hold a grudge against one another. I just wonder what people's opinions are of holding a grudge.
Jacquin I can really relate to you. I have been led down that rosy garden path by my first boyfriend, who actually led me to believe we'd get back together and re instated the terrible trust issues that I had with him only to have him disappear, fly to Japan - to see a girl he had a crush on and for him to chase that possibility despite all that he'd led me into. He didn't tell me he was going, or what his intentions were other than very serious on my end. Shocking. But I tried to be friends with him on the net, and I found that I can provide the best closure when it's not dependent on anyone else.
As for this man I believed to be my soul mate - It has been difficult but I've been letting it go, and trying not to dwell on it and time has been healing.
I am seeing someone else and we have a very serious relationship, we have our problems but I am trying to believe that these aren't so big a deal and the relationship is heading toward marriage so at least I know there is security to a degree.
It's so hard to let go of our past sometimes, and it's a thing I feel I need to come to terms with to forgive every single day. But I know somehow, someway I'll get through it.
It's good to know that i'm not alone - it's getting past the past and moving into the future that I'll encourage anyone's advice to come my way for at this point in time.
And I guess like i said, it's something that is really personal. I have been so angry and resentful in the past also; they have been turmultous emotions... but I'm healing slowly as I try to learn to care for myself more.
well, I have to say we hooked up again, after 13 years....a lot older both of us. i had called him up with the same fantasy. he was separated, he was happy to hear from me, he apologized and told me everything I had wanted to hear all this time, I was excited, i could not beleive what was happening. So we hooked up again........girlfriend.....what a whack of reality set in. He was still the selfish person, self-centered, boring. that was his true self all along, but I had these fantasies that were really not true. for so many years, not loving a man...but loving a fantasy....and the pain that the fantasy brought all those years. S
So, the reason for such a long story is that, while we think we are losing someone great in our lives, they probably were not the person for us. My ex made his wife miserable...I had been so jealous thinking that she had such a precious husband...but I was able to see the pathetic life she had with him....and realized that God had not wanted that for me. Today....I celebrate that I did not end up with him. HURRAY!