Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
Howdy all! I'm new here! My live-in boyfriend of 3.5 years suffers from situational depression, anxiety, migraines, and diverticulitis. He goes to individual therapy, and we both go to couples counseling, to help us cope with the challenges of his conditions. I've joined this group in the hopes of finding an individual outlet for myself, where I might be able to chat with others like myself, coping with the challenges of a loved one suffering from depression.
Do you find the couples therapy helpful? My husband and I are about to go to our first counseling appointment together tomorrow, but it with a counselor I've been seeing on my own for a while so I'm not sure we'll stick with her for couples counseling, or if we'll just get a recommendation/referral from her.
How much of your 3.5 together has your bf been depressed/anxious? How does it impact him, you, and your relationship?
With my husband and I, I'd say we've both experienced some degree of depression in the last 3 years (been dealing with infertility, financial stress, other stress), but a few months ago he got hit with a BAD depression that came on quite suddenly and didn't just last the normal day or two. He's been missing a ton of work, having a hard time spending time with his kids (he has two from a previous marriage), sleeping A LOT, doesn't want to do anything, and has done some self-medicating (a couple times to a scary degree). He's on anti-depressants now, but still waiting to see how much they help. It seems like a lot of his depression is also situational, and it's situations that I/we don't know how to change so I worry about how he'll come out of it.
Anyway, I'm really new here too. Hope we can both find some solace here!
I can't yet speak to the effectiveness of couples counseling as we've only had one session thus far on 10/19, and are scheduled for our second session on 10/31. The first session went well, but it hasn't had a tangible effect, which makes sense since it was our first session, and most of the session was dedicated to getting acquainted, etc.
My boyfriend has struggled with depression and anxiety since well before we met, and more specifically since about high school, which for him amounts to about 20 years. Simply put, at present, his depression and anxiety very negatively affect both his life, our life, and my life, as he and we lack the skills to cope with it.
My boyfriend's depression is also situational, and because of a very negative experience with antidepressants many, many years ago, he refuses to take them again, so therapy is really his only tool.
I'm an extreme optimist, and just all around happy person, all of the time, so the contrast between my boyfriend and I, especially when he's in the throes of depression is significant. He's often frustrated that I'm so happy, and I'm often frustrated that he's so unhappy.
Yay for opposites attracting! Oy!