Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
Hi,
This is my first time doing this kind of thing. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 9 years and she’s been depressed the entire time. She has persistent depressive disorder, which means she’s constantly depressed. All that changes is the severity of the depression. In October, she lost her job and everything’s been even worse since then. I’ve been the only one supporting us and she’s only applied for 2 jobs because she feels like doing something she doesn’t like would make her more depressed. She has a masters in social work but hasn’t used it because she said working full time would make her depression worse. Because of her background in social work, she won’t go to counseling because she says she already knows what they would say to her. She tried going to a psychiatrist and went through 4 different medications, but none of them worked so she got discouraged and gave up on that. I just honestly don’t know what to do because she refuses to get any sort of treatment. It’s exhausting and stressful being the only one supporting us. It’s also hard being the only person she really has to talk to. I just feel like my moods been really low for a while now and I don’t know how to make anything better. Any advice would be really appreciated. Thanks.
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Hi All.... It's great to see all of the new people joining the site... I'm loving it!!...smileI'm not sure if people are aware that if you don't have Bipolar Disorder but have a loved one who has the disorder we do have a board for people to go to in order to share their experiences and seek friendship, support or adviseIt's the Friends and Family of Bipolar Board.... I hope you'll take a...
I've been in Therapy since I was diagnosed 28 years ago, I also have a Ph.d in Clinical Psychology and have counseled those with Mental Illnesses, it doesn't mean I can't get Therapy or that I "know" what every other Therapist in the world is going to say...that's just ridiculous. Generally a Therapist's best friend is their Therapist.
As far as meds go, there are literally hundreds of possible combinations these days, trying 4 and saying, "I tried, they don't work, I'm done" is once again, just using an excuse and justifying quitting.
Not working in a field you don't enjoy is the one thing I will say okay, that makes sense. Because if you battle Depression on a daily basis, you do need to try to keep as many positive things in your life as you can. So working in a field that you enjoy and is low stress is a good idea....but, you do need to get up and go find a job in that field.
As for you and your relationship....that's the hard part. You can't just let her sit at home, do nothing, and you enable her choice to feed into the Depression. You have a right to be happy, you have a right to have a partner and a life you enjoy. The Depression will be a part of your life together, but it can be Treated. Millions of us deal with it everyday of our lives, but we go to Therapy, we take our meds and we live our lives. It can take a few try's to get the right Medication, and Psych Meds take a few weeks to kick in, so its a process that can be frustrating, but you have to be patient and work through it. You have to stand up for yourself and your relationship and let your Girlfriend know that she either has to get up, see a Psychiatrist, get into Therapy (that will work and is possible, regardless of her profession) work whatever Treatment Plan her Psychiatrist recommends or your relationship isn't going to work. Make sure she knows that you'll support her through her Treatment Plan and the changes, just as you've been doing, but she has to start treating her Illness or you can't remain in the relationship.
Of course that decision is up to you, but in reality it's the only thing you can do. The longer she's allowed to just "exist" and you do everything for her and "be" everything for her...the less she'll do to help herself.
I hope that things get better for you, and I hope you find the answers you need to help your situation.
Take care.
Kat