Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
My husband has been dealing with depression and bipolar for years and the past month or so has been really tough for him. He had basically a breakdown on Saturday and decided to spend some time away on his own - he told me he wanted to avoid his 'triggers' - I didn't love the idea but he insisted. We have only texted a few times since Saturday and he has initiated each text conversation. I got an unexpected raise today at work and couldn't wait to tell him but didn't want to tell him at the risk of upsetting him (his depression has been affecting his work). He texted tonight and I told him I had great news which I could tell him then or it could wait until he came home (not sure when that will be and I haven't asked what his timeline is, which is really hard for me). He told me to tell him then so I did and he was excited and told me congratulations to me. I said 'congratulations to us - mama needs a new sliding glass door, lol'. As soon as I sent that text I felt like I shouldn't have - we have needed a new sliding glass door for a while and he was going to follow up to find someone to install a new one for us. I just hope I didn't inadvertently make him feel bad about himself when I was really just making a joke - and I really hope I didn't set him back at all. Maybe I'm just overthinking this (I'm 22 weeks pregnant and I'll just go ahead and blame my hormones) and there is nothing I can do about it now, but I feel terrible.
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Hi All.... It's great to see all of the new people joining the site... I'm loving it!!...smileI'm not sure if people are aware that if you don't have Bipolar Disorder but have a loved one who has the disorder we do have a board for people to go to in order to share their experiences and seek friendship, support or adviseIt's the Friends and Family of Bipolar Board.... I hope you'll take a...
It's been quite awhile since I've posted here. But I logged in tonight and read your post :)
It's interesting... Your post is one of those ones that if you told to someone who didn't understand depression, they would not understand your concern at all. But for those of us who have eggshells all around... We get it.
But I would agree... Don't stress. It is something that was done totally innocently and you have no reason to feel badly about it.
But I think those of us here definitely understand those eggshells :)
Hugs!
Whether it be BiPolar Depression or UniPolar Depression, its not okay for him to leave and go stay somewhere else. He said to avoid his "triggers", did he tell you what the triggers are? Is the house a trigger, are you a trigger, what triggers are he having to avoid to the point that he can't stay in his own home?
I've had BiPolar Disorder w/Severe Suicidal Depression for 27 years. I was married for 25 of those years and have 2 sons, they are 26 and 17. I've been through 5 suicide attempts, 4 In-Patient Psych stays, had every Therapy known to man including ECT and I can tell you that not once did it ever cross my mind to leave my family because I was too depressed to stay.
Being BiPolar or Depressed doesn't give you a free pass to walk out on your family and stay gone until God knows when. You don't get to leave your pregnant wife with no clue as to when you might return, to hold things together until you do. Because once he gets away with this, then he'll just keep doing it, more and more, every time he's depressed....
Your husband needs to see his Pdoc and get some things straightened out so he can get back on the path to stability and get back home where he belongs. And honestly unless you want him disappearing on you again and again, you guys need to have a talk about this and you need to let him know that walking out is not okay and it can't happen again.
Congratulations on your baby!