Depression Supporters Support Group

This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.

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Mental Health
/ Depression Supporters Support Group

Are any of us getting our needs met

smdruid
smdruid
I'm wondering if any of us are getting even a little bit of our needs met...How much can we all give and support our depressed loved one? Has anyone noticed how they can act okay outside of the house or in groups...Not rude or cold to strangers, friends...? Why do we get all the negative behavior...they seem to be able to function in some situations I feel...that's why I wonder if there are other issues going on with them....ptsd, ocd, past trauma issues not dealt with? Anyone got any guys/partners with other comorbid issues?
deleted_user
deleted_user
You know, given that I do understand depression and ptsd, as I have both. I try to use my experience and help others who are suffering with either one. I try to use my experience but limit what I actually share about myself. Figuring someone needs to care about them as I need others to care about me. I just don't want to fully open up to help in fear of getting hurt more.

To those who I try and help that turn on me, I just let them go as softly and calmly as I can. I can not help someone who is fighting or attacking me, but I won't make it worse on them in attacking them back.

There is this thin line in keeping yourself safe and helping others.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Not so long ago I found myself really happy when my partner's sister called. I was grateful that his family was reaching out to him because I often feel alone in this, as well as the fact that he seemed to enjoy the conversation. Well, before the conversation was over, I started feeling god-awful resentful and upset that he could smile and have such a pleasant tone with her when all i get all day every day is a scowly face and a monotone criticism, if i he speaks to me at all. Thanks for bringing up this topic because this frustration is very real and I am learning quickly that burying my feelings or trying to "optimistic" them to death does not actually solve anything.
smdruid
smdruid
So true about caring for them to death...how about the holidays...I love them..he totally hates them...no way to stay happy around him it seems...grrrr
smdruid
smdruid
Good points Phoenix...very good....I do the same thing...back off and just spiritually take the higher ground...
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband won't get therapy but everyone thinks he is a real prince. He only accuses and fault finds with me. He has never believe I love him so he invents ways to prove that I don't. My therapist believes he has PTSD from childhood as well as depression.
So I completely get what you are saying. Now that he has "fired" me, left. He will have to find a new target.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry to be so self-absorbed, but I am in crisis and I'd rather die than face tomorrow. I just don't want to hurt my family by not being here.
deleted_user
deleted_user
PLEASE??? Is ANYONE there? PLEASE?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Tara, please call a suicide Help line. Hearing a human voice to talk through what u r feeling is so important. Those overwhelming feelings can be sorted thru with help.

You are not alone.
smdruid
smdruid
Hi Suzzo,
Did he walk out of you?