Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
Oh Thralkr, I know you have gone through this for so long.
Mine is threatening leaving me- he misses his friends and family back home. We just haven't had opportunites that make sense to go there. We are safe and secure where we live but it is 1000 miles from his hometown. There we wouldn't be able to make ends meat. I am the breadwinner, he doesn't work he is too depressed. I have attempted to move us there for 3 years and I am offered terrible jobs and terrible pay and terrible insurance. It is so easy and peaceful for us here and I worked very hard to make that happen. There we would have to work harder than now- potentially forever. He doesn't look for work there, only I do. I am the breadwinner here and would be there but he does say he would work there.
He misses fun with his friends. I have realized he is always happy on vacation- the two of us not working at home together or out on vacation together and having a great time. But eventually we have to work again- or at least I do- so we can play again. I feel confused like I am in this battle and cycle of how much of this is depression right now and how much is him truly not understanding and accepting that life requires work too.
I am scared he will leave, he wants to talk about it tonight and I guess I will see what happens. I am sad :( I am just trying to stay peaceful with the decisions and stay afloat.
Mine is threatening leaving me- he misses his friends and family back home. We just haven't had opportunites that make sense to go there. We are safe and secure where we live but it is 1000 miles from his hometown. There we wouldn't be able to make ends meat. I am the breadwinner, he doesn't work he is too depressed. I have attempted to move us there for 3 years and I am offered terrible jobs and terrible pay and terrible insurance. It is so easy and peaceful for us here and I worked very hard to make that happen. There we would have to work harder than now- potentially forever. He doesn't look for work there, only I do. I am the breadwinner here and would be there but he does say he would work there.
He misses fun with his friends. I have realized he is always happy on vacation- the two of us not working at home together or out on vacation together and having a great time. But eventually we have to work again- or at least I do- so we can play again. I feel confused like I am in this battle and cycle of how much of this is depression right now and how much is him truly not understanding and accepting that life requires work too.
I am scared he will leave, he wants to talk about it tonight and I guess I will see what happens. I am sad :( I am just trying to stay peaceful with the decisions and stay afloat.
He is angry at everything. He gets upset that other people have what he does not and he is upset at the thought of having to work to have what he wants. He doesn't focus on the good. I went to one of his counseling sessions with him and she asked him what he had good in his life? Nothing. She asked him to think harder and to look at all the riches he has. Nothing. Then he stopped and said "look I know I have a lot to be grateful for but there's a lot I don't have that I want". I don't understand that... I try but I don't. If I stayed home all day I would make the most of it! I'd get a job if I didn't like staying home, I'd do things I love if I did. Those of us who support them... We are in a real predicament. If I quit we are done for- I have to keep going to work or we no longer survive. Fortunately I love my job but still... I wish it were easier to shine the light on for them. Like you say- there are very few and far between times where we are able to point out all the good and they are receptive. If we did it all the time we'd be the villain. Today he is in one of those moods. He wants to spend money and by stuff- nothing big just stuff. He comes from a home of money and wealth. There was lots of love and lots of spending. He is a little spoiled and he got to watch spending money be a cure-all in his own home growing up so it feels like a cure-all to him now.
All I want is a haircut... I can't afford to baby him, I just can't. Each time I do it is detrimental to me and to him in the long run. I wish he'd get out there and work- it would help us immensely and I believe help his depression immensely.