Dementia Support Group

Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be memory, attention, language and problem solving, although particularly in the later stages of the condition, affected persons may be disoriented in time, place and person (not knowing who they...

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What to Give as Thank You Gift to Wonderful Aide?

amelah
amelah
Mom finally did it. She crossed the line and made racial slurs toward our beloved aide. So the aide resigned. Completely Understandable. I doubt they get paid more than $10/hr through the agency. I'd really like to do something for her (she lasted the longest: 2 months). I don't have much money, but I thought it would be nice to give her a gift card or something... dunno, somewhere like Target? (she's diabetic, so I don't think I should give her a gift card to a restaurant). Is a gift card appropriate? I don't think she'll accept cash, since she knows I'm unemployed & on lean times myself. I will write a thank you note, too. I just want to let her know how valued she was and that she will be missed. Any ideas? Thanks! :'(
deleted_user
deleted_user
A money order to the United Nigro College in your mom's name and copy her: http://www.uncf.org/ a mind is a terrible thing to waste. Your mom is going to say some mean things. As an aide she cannot take things personnally and overreacted. I am in no way saying that the aide did wrong, she is very much human. Your mom has lost control and it needs to be brought out-up front to the next aide that your mom is going to say some hateful things to hurt you. Observe the aide carefully and if the aide is starting to get too overwhelmed, give her a break so she can decompress.
loveyorks
loveyorks
How nice of you to try to thank her even though it did'nt work out, yes a gift card is a good idea, this way she can get something she really needs or wants.

Too bad though she quit. What are you going to do, will the agency send someone new. Hugs
amelah
amelah
Thanks for your advice & support. I wrote a long diatribe, but computer froze up. Can't explain Mom's form of crazy anymore. She needs Rabies shots.

Is there a telephone support group available? I'm not wild about this form of communication. Too time-consuming.

Yes, as far as I know, the agency will retain us because they are making a fortune off of us. My sisters insist on using their Medical Advocate & Assistant.

The aide did not overreact. Mom has figured out how to push people's buttons and is holding her finger down on them. For $10/hr, I would run out the door, too, after a 12 hr. shift. We each have our red line (boundary) & Mom is brilliant at stomping on. She is cruel. Unfortunately, Mom's always been this way -- just more exaggerated & inappropriate now.

Thanks again for your support & advice! My sisters want to be as uninvolved as possible, letting the agency handle Mom. Or not. My hope is that this results in her need for hospitalization. I can only hope.