Mom has been having more moments of lucidity lately, as her medical issues are being addressed more promptly. It's kind of strange having mom back, a few hours here & there. But it's not like she turns around and says "so where have I been?" Rather, she says, "I have no idea what's been going on in the news lately." Which tells me that she's aware of the passage of time. She's back in the hospital at the moment. Yesterday, she wanted me to sit by her as she ate her meal. I held her hand (with her permission -- because sometimes she doesn't want to be touched) and we talked. At one point, Mom lamented: "I used to be so young and pretty."

I didn't know what to say. My mom has always valued her worth on her youth and her looks. It was when these 2 things began to fade that Mom began having more mental health issues (depression, anxiety, OCD).

So, I took a moment. Thought through my options. I'm not going to lie to her. She's 75. She's no longer young. I'm not going to condescend to her and tell her she's beautiful on the inside. I'm not going to turn it around and commiserate by saying, "well neither am I, Mom." But I simply said: "You are Still Beautiful. You are." That seemed to be enough for her. And it is true. She is still a beautiful woman.

I think it's important to be as honest as possible, but to keep it as simple as possible, too.

So when Mom said today: "I don't understand why I've been so anemic" -- I didn't know if she was ready to hear the full-fledged diagnosis to a complicated medical condition. So I suggested that she speak with her Dr. about it. I said something like "It's been an ongoing problem --a you have a hematologist." (She doesn't seem to recall him -- though she has seen him numerous times.) How do you say: "Gee Mom, You've Stopped Producing Red Blood Cells" --without scaring the pants off her? She is smart & will know that's a very bad sign (she needs blood transfusions every 10 days). In fact, the nurse mentioned to Mom yesterday that her swollen ankles were due to CHF. When Mom inquired as to what that was, the Nurse clarified, "Congestive Heart Failure." My mother retorted, "I don't have THAT!" Last Mom knew, she only had an Aortic Stenosis. Oh boy... Thankfully, the nurse backed off and didn't pursue the issue. Mom doesn't seem to recall things from that cognitive impaired state, in which the Dr told her about her blood disorder and her heart condition (although I don't know -- she may not have been told by her Drs that she has CHF).

I don't know if Mom has a true dementia. We're suspecting that her cognitive impairment (which resembles dementia) is intricately linked to her on-going physical health issues. For the moment, it feels like she's awoken from a bad dream. She was actually interested in doing seek n' find word puzzles tonight. Wow. It feels like a scene out of that movie "Awakenings" in which the character says "People tell me that I've been away for awhile, but now I'm back."

Who knows what tomorrow will bring. I have to live with the reality that most likely, she will be back to the confusion and paranoia again tomorrow.