Hi Kat, I am in Australia and I have never heard of nursing homes ringing. Do you think your Father rings them during the day? Anyway you would think the manager of the NH would work day shift not night. How do they know he needs to calm down. Are you Power of Attorney? If you are they should be speaking to you.

Has your Father talked to them? It would be very upsetting to him, if he thinks you are putting him in one. I would check out who is calling and get in touch with the manager there and tell them to stop ringing, or maybe change your telephone number.

Try and get some rest. take the phone off the hook. Good luck Kat, I too think this is strange. :)

It's his nurse who calls - not always the same one as he has various nurses depending on the day & time. I am his POA. Dad hallucinates and gets upset, then starts yelling, trying to get up (they're afraid he'll fall), and says he's leaving to go home. But, when he was at home he sometimes would say that he wanted to go home - maybe because in his mind he was in a different period of his life and did not recognize that this was his current home. The problem is that laws say they cannot give meds to calm him, restrain or stop him from leaving, and the doors are not locked so he could actually walk out and there's nothing they can do. I'm sure that's why they call. I'm frustrated because he needs to be on meds that will help with the hallucinations but the docs can't seem to find the right med that will calm him. I asked for a referral to a psychiatrist because they are better at that. The nurse from his office called to say I had to fill out paperwork before they can make an appointment. She said she put it in the mail. It did not come yesterday, which means it won't be here until Monday when I'm at work. I won't be able to mail it back until Tuesday and they won't call to make the appoint ment until Thursday. We are going out of town Friday so the earliest appointment he can get is next Monday. In the meantime I'll be getting daily calls. I hate to unplug my phone in case it's a real emergency such as he fell and is injured or another family member has an accident. This process is way too complex and is taking way too long.

Oh so your father is in a Nursing Home and needs to calmed down. Well I suppose you will just have to have them call when he is upset.

When he wants to go home, he wants to go to a safe place like when he was little and with his Mum and Dad. Somewhere he is safe.

I reassure Mum all the time that I will take care of her and she will never be on her own. I cant really help you if your Father is in a NH as they will ring family members if your father is stressing,

Hallucinations, people with Dementia may hear, see, feel, or smell things that are not there.

I would get him seen by a Doctor incase there is an infection making his behavours worse. Like a UTI or maybe he has a vitamin deficency.

Good luck with this. Hope your Father feels better soon. :)

I remember when the nursing home called with my grandmother. Ask the nurse to contact the doctor or you can do it. There is medication that they can give your dad to calm him. The phone calls will decrease greatly.!

I understand about how long it takes to get appointments, etc set up and in the meantime you still have the same difficulty of being awakened at night, esp. since you are the POA.

Check with your lawyer to see if there is a legal way to write up a "standing order" for permission to give calming meds as deemed necessary by the nurse in charge and that it be reported to you the next day.

You can't possibly be the only one experiencing this. Ask them what other families do.

Is there a secondary POA in case you are not available? If there is, take turns with them to receive the calls on alternate nights with you, to get you a good nights sleep at least every other night. You are right, you have to get some sleep! Go for it!

The nursing home is not allowed to give calming meds on an 'as needed' basis, only meds that are prescribed to be given on a regular schedule and even then they do not like to give Haldol at all. They also are not allowed to restrain him or lock the doors, so if he just walks out there is nothing they can do. They call me because they have me talk to him on the phone and I always get him to calm down and cooperate. I told the nurse that I've been reminding Dad that when it's dark outside he should go to bed and sleep because otherwise he's sleeping during the daytime when I come to see him and he doesn't even see me or know I'm there. They have been telling him that, too, and it seems to be working as I have not gotten a 'middle of the night' phone call for the past three days now. I did get a call about 7:00 last night telling me he'd fallen out of his wheelchair again but was not injured.

Hi Kat,
People with dementia get their hours turned around and many actually loose the concept of time. We didn't let my mom nap more than a half hour during the day, kept her up to a later hour at night and up at the same time each morning to regulate her schedule. The same thing happens with my dad. He was getting up at 2 or 3 in the morning, shaving, showering & dressing for the day. The neurologist suggested he stay up until 9 or 10 at night. Also, I tell him if it's dark out it's not yet time to get up. These things are working for him (most nights) but his dementia is mild right now.
Good luck!!!

What if you made your Father a tape, of your voice talking to him and telling nice stories and some nice little poems. It always calms my Mother down.

Maybe then the NH could just let your Father listen to a tape of you and it might calm him down. (Only a thought, but it might work)

I feel so much for you and your Father, Good luck Kat51. Your not alone, we are all here for you. :)

Thanks for all of the suggestions - I will try those. At the suggestion of the nursing home staff, I'm also putting together a memory book for him that they can use to distract him when he's upset. They can show him the pictures and ask him to tell them about them. Hopefully a little redirection will also help.