Dementia Support Group
Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be memory, attention, language and problem solving, although particularly in the later stages of the condition, affected persons may be disoriented in time, place and person (not knowing who they...
Hi, I need some advice/help with my father-in-law. My husband re-connected with his dad a few years ago, after having had a very strained and distant relationship for 20 years. We purchased property together, started a company together, and eventually moved into the same house together. Now, we didn't really "know" him so weren't sure about some of his quirks.
However, after having a serious lung infection which required surgery and three weeks in the hospital (as well as being diagnosed with diabetes) we discovered he'd been telling family/friends very strange stories about us. This has continued, we occasionaly get phone calls from friends/family that want to verity something he's told them. In addition he has forgotten that I am on the business and deed. He sleeps for hours and hours on his couch and in his office during the day. He doesn't answer his phones, and then says there is something wrong with them (this has gotten more frequent and he's even had the secretary call the phone co.). He thinks there are people on our property sometimes and wants to fence in the whole 25 acres. He's become more and more afraid of the retarded man that lives about .5 mile from us. He's been mismanaging his money and then demands a financial statement from us about the business (he's on the bank acct and has complete access at any time to it). He quit feeding his dogs, we do it now. His office and house have turned into trash cans basically.
He keeps buying food, both his freezers are full and he keeps telling the lady I hired to clean his area of the house that we've stuffed his freezers and she is to throw it all away. Last week he told her to throw it all away again and when I reminded him that it was his food (we have a different fridge and freezer) he became enraged and started screaming at me, then my husband. He was all over the place about different topics, he couldn't tell us what, specifically, he was angry about. We asked him what we could do to help, what we had done, what I had done to make him so angry and he couldn't/wouldn't answer us. In addition he started trying to walk into/shove my husband towards a door. My husband pushed him out to arms length (repeatedly) and my father-in-law took a swing at him.
Then just as suddenly as it started it stopped. He left to drive to his girlfriend's house and called along the way to apologize. I haven't seen him since, thought he lives below us in the same house, but he has been slamming doors since he got back from his girlfriend's (3 days).
He also tells the same stories over and over and over! He even will tell the same thing over in one sitting (like at dinner). He gets events in his life mixed up as to who was involved and when it happened (decades of differneces). We got his doctor to check him out and he was given a "mini-mental" which he passed.
The behaviour is just bizarre to me...is this dementia? Neither of his ex-wives say he was ever physically abusive to them, the kids or step kids. They both say he has depressive episodes where he'd just lay on the couch for weeks.
I have small children and am concerned about all of this, but especially the physical part. If this is dementia, is the violence and rage part of it? Will it (rage/violence) get worse? Is it treatable?
I know this has been lengthy, but I wanted to be fairly complete and detailed. Please help...any advice would be appreciated!
However, after having a serious lung infection which required surgery and three weeks in the hospital (as well as being diagnosed with diabetes) we discovered he'd been telling family/friends very strange stories about us. This has continued, we occasionaly get phone calls from friends/family that want to verity something he's told them. In addition he has forgotten that I am on the business and deed. He sleeps for hours and hours on his couch and in his office during the day. He doesn't answer his phones, and then says there is something wrong with them (this has gotten more frequent and he's even had the secretary call the phone co.). He thinks there are people on our property sometimes and wants to fence in the whole 25 acres. He's become more and more afraid of the retarded man that lives about .5 mile from us. He's been mismanaging his money and then demands a financial statement from us about the business (he's on the bank acct and has complete access at any time to it). He quit feeding his dogs, we do it now. His office and house have turned into trash cans basically.
He keeps buying food, both his freezers are full and he keeps telling the lady I hired to clean his area of the house that we've stuffed his freezers and she is to throw it all away. Last week he told her to throw it all away again and when I reminded him that it was his food (we have a different fridge and freezer) he became enraged and started screaming at me, then my husband. He was all over the place about different topics, he couldn't tell us what, specifically, he was angry about. We asked him what we could do to help, what we had done, what I had done to make him so angry and he couldn't/wouldn't answer us. In addition he started trying to walk into/shove my husband towards a door. My husband pushed him out to arms length (repeatedly) and my father-in-law took a swing at him.
Then just as suddenly as it started it stopped. He left to drive to his girlfriend's house and called along the way to apologize. I haven't seen him since, thought he lives below us in the same house, but he has been slamming doors since he got back from his girlfriend's (3 days).
He also tells the same stories over and over and over! He even will tell the same thing over in one sitting (like at dinner). He gets events in his life mixed up as to who was involved and when it happened (decades of differneces). We got his doctor to check him out and he was given a "mini-mental" which he passed.
The behaviour is just bizarre to me...is this dementia? Neither of his ex-wives say he was ever physically abusive to them, the kids or step kids. They both say he has depressive episodes where he'd just lay on the couch for weeks.
I have small children and am concerned about all of this, but especially the physical part. If this is dementia, is the violence and rage part of it? Will it (rage/violence) get worse? Is it treatable?
I know this has been lengthy, but I wanted to be fairly complete and detailed. Please help...any advice would be appreciated!
But what you are describing, Mom certainly went through it to some degree.
You need to get him to a doctor and investigate further. There is definintly something wrong with him. You just have to find out what.
Good luck and give us updates when you have them.
I always recommend that the spouse whose parent it is be the "face" to them for your family.
If he will not go, contact the local social services agency for advice.
It is out of the ordinary by any name you call it and it needs to be addressed for everyone's safety, physically and financially.
Best wishes,