Dementia Support Group
Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be memory, attention, language and problem solving, although particularly in the later stages of the condition, affected persons may be disoriented in time, place and person (not knowing who they...
Its time for my Mom to be in a home! Shes still OK physically but she is very abusive towards me... just today trying to discuss letting me give her some medication the dr prescribed resulted in broken finger of mine cause I was trying to avoid being hit with a lamp !But she has no savings I've found out, shes on Medicare... the only thing she has is$1300/month SS! Where does she go?!Who can help!?! I have no idea who to even ask for help! Her whole family has abandoned her, even her son and sister, so I have no one to even discuss my options with! Years ago she put her own Dad In a home that just took his SS as payment but do they even exist anymore!?! Please somebody tell me what my first steps should be! I'm single! Can't afford regular home or assisted living! Cheapest one in my area is about $4000?month! No way can I afford that! How do I appy for Medicaid!?!
You fill out your contact info and they will have a social worker contact you. That person can answer all of your questions.
Just one thought...your mom needs to qualify for a nursing home. You say she is physically OK but abusive. Well that isn't enough unless she is mentally incompetent. Even then it may be a struggle to get her classified as needing inpatient care. Also unless you have a health care POA and regular POA there is nothing you will be able to do unless mom is declared incompetent. And even then you will need to get a lawyer to get the court to appoint you as guardian. Along the way you may need to get the police involved if she is hurting you or others. Sometimes it needs to get ugly before it can get better.
Thanks for ur help! I.m just venting! I feel so alone! Doesn"t A Place for Mom only deal with expensive places!
It's a hassle, I know but it's time for you to have some peace in your life. Their comes a times when we're not physically and emotionally capable to taking care of our elderly parents. It's not just about us, it's about what's in the best interest of our ailing parents.
You said your mom owns her home. You will probably need to look into selling it to care for her. If mom needed a nursing home then they will take her SS but they will want the house sold if it is in her name.
You say the doctor says mom is doing well. A nursing home requires a medical placement. Assisted living doesn't on some levels but to be deductible for taxes you need a doctor saying it is necessary. But you also have to get your mom to go there. Unless she is incompetent you can't force her. This is a discussion you need to have with mom's doctor. Generally placement happens after a traumatic event that lands them in the hospital. This is because the staff is seeing them for several days and the behavior comes out.
You mention needing two POA. One is a financial POA and the second would be a health care proxy or HPOA. Yes they are very different. You also need the HPOA to state that you have the ability to have her placed for psychiatric (dementia) treatment. This is a relatively new clause that is required in most states. Many lawyers don't know about it and no one ever calls you to tell you this needs to be updated.
Violence is always a problem, but he still has the physical strength of a man and I'm still a woman. He is very dangerous to me.