Hi Deborah...yes unfortunately it will get worse, mostly in small increments. I find this with caring for my Mom. Breath deep, keep venting!

Lisa

The changes and decreases in ability are tough, especially when it adds another challenge to a caregiver. Absolutely vent, breathe deep and dive in. I'm sure, like you said, you'll figure this one out like others you've faced.

I guess the fact that he's still willing to change his clothes is a little blessing right? I had to battle for months through a phase of refusing to change...oh the stories my Dad would weave to get out of it! Hang in there!

I can understand when you say you feel resentful I feel the same sometimes.I want to help my husband to dress and bathe - but I think I may appear to be bossy or patronising to him.How do you manage to balance things nicely?(He popped his pj's on over his day clothes on Xmas eve, then finished off with a pair of my trousers on top of that.)x

Deborah48, Please don't feel guilty about how you feel. Sometimes things get so tough we don't think we can take anymore, and then they smile at us or call us sweety and we again know why we do this. There will be a time when he won't be able to do alot of things, but right now cherish the good moments.
I hope this page from my book helps:
One mistake we dont want to make is to shortchange the present. If we spend our time worrying about the future and grieving about the past we will shortchange our selves and our loved ones. We dont need to forget the past and its lessons, and we still should plan for the future but if we dwell on the past and future we will miss the present. The present can be the most rewarding time of all. For the person with Alzheimers the most important moment is the present, their life is most fully experienced in the now. Living in the moment lets us celebrate today. We will be rewarded many times over if we step into their world and live for today. William Penn expresses his thoughts about living in the present. I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness or abilities that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.

Deborah - Resentment is something we are all dealing with as caretakers. My husband changes clothes several times a day. That doesn't sound so bad but he drops all his clothes on the floor or tries to put them all in one dresser drawer. When he cannot close the drawer; he leaves it open and keeps adding more clothes. I put everything away ... leave the room only to return to a new pile started. He, too, will put sweatpants on then his jeans and wonders why he cannot zip or button his pants. He wears a sweatshirt over a dress sweater when it is 80 degress outside ... how I share your resentment. His latest phase is getting time mixed up. The minute the sun goes down he thinks it's bedtime and Saturday. He is forever getting ready for church ... because today is Saturday and tomorrow is Sunday in his mind. Thank God for Xanax ... not for him but for ME!! Keep Venting ... We are in this together!! I will be thinking of you tomorrow evening at Midnight ... Happy New Year's my friend. God Bless You and Your Family.

Jopat- You are so right about living in the now. It is interesting that you say this because a few years ago I started reading the words of the Buddha and that is exactly what he says- live in this moment.

Lisa- yup, just take a deep breath and then another one.......

Pounder- he doesn't LIKE to change to change his clothes but he is still willing so I will be happy for that right now.

Judy- Being able to vent is so helpful for me- just saying or writing the the things I think in my head make such a big difference- it's like I am putting my burden down instead of carrying it around.

My dad is in the late stages, sometimes I miss him arguing. Now he doesn't talk at all, what I would give for him to want to fight. I know that probably sounds crazy, but the day will come when the arguements are goodtimes. My father has been totally bed ridden for 6 months. He hasn't been able to scratch his own nose, and now he can't tell you it itches. You can see in his eyes, he knows. So just be thankful for the craziness. Try not to argue, because really what difference does it make if he changes clothes. Unless it is something that will hurt him, just areee with him. Let him win sometimes. I know it's hard, but this stage will pass. My father has said and done some really hurtful things, but I know that is not him. I was born with the birth defect of NO patience, but I have learned, he didn't do any of this to irritate me. It is just as irrritating on his end. Did you know throw rugs look like big holes in the floor to them? They are just as sure we are the crazy ones. Ironic isn't it.

We really must live in the present with our family member, but keep the future in mind, b/c... although this will sound negative it's realistic.....it will get worse before it gets better. .
My dad is in the beginning stages and I know my days will become worse, I'm becoming more and more thankful for this website.
I will try to remember I won't have my dad forever