Dementia Support Group
Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be memory, attention, language and problem solving, although particularly in the later stages of the condition, affected persons may be disoriented in time, place and person (not knowing who they...
My dad was the nicest person - everyone loved him. He was always friendly, joking with people, lots of friends, and everyone loved him. He hated cursing and would reprimand anyone he heard who cursed.
The dementia has made him a totally different person. He will sometimes still be coorperative, joking, and sweet. Other times - at least a few hours each day - he will get angry at his caregivers and other residents at his memory care facility. He rants, curses, yells at them, refuses to take his meds, refuses any cares, and is horribly verbally abusive.
Today when I visited him on my lunch hour he was in a 'mood'. He was calling one of the aids a 'fat cow', cursing, refusing to let them change him, etc. He just kept walking around and saying other people had moved their things into his room because he was confused about which room was his. He is supposed to use a walker because of balance problems and falls but was refusing to do so.
We have an appointment at behavioral health at the end of the month and I hope they can find some meds to help him. It's so painful to see him this way and he must feel horrible when he's so upset and angry.
The dementia has made him a totally different person. He will sometimes still be coorperative, joking, and sweet. Other times - at least a few hours each day - he will get angry at his caregivers and other residents at his memory care facility. He rants, curses, yells at them, refuses to take his meds, refuses any cares, and is horribly verbally abusive.
Today when I visited him on my lunch hour he was in a 'mood'. He was calling one of the aids a 'fat cow', cursing, refusing to let them change him, etc. He just kept walking around and saying other people had moved their things into his room because he was confused about which room was his. He is supposed to use a walker because of balance problems and falls but was refusing to do so.
We have an appointment at behavioral health at the end of the month and I hope they can find some meds to help him. It's so painful to see him this way and he must feel horrible when he's so upset and angry.
I was wondering if you could put a thing on his door so it makes it easier for him to find his room. I have done this for a few ppl in the past and it always made it easier for them to find their rooms.
It must be hard to adjust to having to use a walker, men are just sooo independant. Do they have other men there using walkers? Maybe he should pal up with them, and then he wont feel so embarressed.
Try a diversion when he gets upset. Like I wonder what is on TV today (and if its like Aust. probably nothing) Or maybe just talk about the pictures in his room. etc.
I am hoping that the workers there, are patient with it takes some time to get the message to his brain and work through what is happening around him.
I really hope that it will all work out for the best. I never put Mun on any drugs as her behaviours didnt last that long, but good luck and I really hope all will work out for you and your Father.
Dont forget to get lots of hugs and kisses. They make us all feel good. :)
We try distractions but when he gets going, nothing will work. He just walks away, won't listen, and keeps yelling. The director told me they called her in the first night because she is very good at distraction and has never had it fail before, but there was nothing she could do either. He closed his eyes tightly and just yelled over and over. He could not hear anyone talking to him and could not see anything. Finally she was able to get close enough to start rubbing his back and eventually he stopped yelling. That is, until someone tried to speak to him, then it started again.
That was the worst night and he's not been that bad since, but he still gets upset and yells. I really hope that Aricept or something else will help. I know he must feel awful also and I hate the idea that he feels so horrible. Today was good - had him laughing when I was talking about my brother and me when we were kids.
I took my dad to behavior health and they are so good with meds. Dad has improved greatly. I feel so much better because it was very hard to see him so upset and I worried he'd work himself into a stroke or heart attack with all that anger. He is cooperative most of the time now and likes where he's living. He has not once asked me to take him home now. The staff say he still can have some moments where he's uncooperative, but not very often. I hope they can help your father, too. The meds take time to build up so it might take a week or two. Hope things get better for you and your family.
My mothers Dementia has progressed so much since June after her fall that broke her hip. She went right from living alone to going into the hospital, to the rehab center to living with me and my family. She has been with us now for almost 2 months and I find that her hardest times during the days are after 4:00 pm. She does get that sun downing effect and I worry about the shorter winter hours coming up and how I am going to keep this sun downing to a mild case.
My mom also was not a person who cussed, or even yelled very often if at all. She always kept her emotions inside. She did cry a lot when things weren't going right and she still does this now, accept now when she does have a crying spell she doesn't understand why she is crying. I have also learned that any kind of change or the caregivers attitude can effect my mom's personality for that hour. It's a moment to moment thing with my mom.
Mom also will no longer use her cane, she has gotten her walking back to a safe walk where I can help her along without the cane, but I have been informing her that when winter hits she will have to use the cane more often or even go back to the walker as she could fall again.
I have three children and my husband and also now three dogs and 1 cat so to say the least our home can have it's crazy moments but everyone is learning how to adjust to mom's ways.
I hope your father finds some peace within his community. I could not even imagine my father in my mom's Dementia world. He passed away from a major stroke 6 years ago. Keep give your dad lots of love and support and when he gets angry let it pass and get him onto another subject if possible. Good Luck.
Susan, Dad does have his picture and name on his door and I've taken him to his room and told him that's his but he insists that was not his room and people moved his things. He is in a wheelchair and is not supposed to walk at all. Not because he's not able to walk but because his cognitive abilities are so impaired that he will start to tip over and just keep falling. He is in great danger of injury from falls if he walks. The staff is great at trying distraction and sometimes it worked but other times it did not. The director asked his doctor to make a change in the timing of his meds so they give him a dose at 4:00 because it was prescribed to be given at bedtime but by 10:00 he would be so out of control and uncooperative that he would refuse to take the meds. Changing the time to 4:00 has worked wonders. There are ony 15 residents and only one of them is a man . Sadly, most residents are women.