Dementia Support Group
Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be memory, attention, language and problem solving, although particularly in the later stages of the condition, affected persons may be disoriented in time, place and person (not knowing who they...
I thought it'd be nice to do a check-in to see how everyone is doing? Seems this board is only active when a newcomer has questions or someone is going through a particularly rough patch...
How are you doing? For those celebrating, how was your holiday?
I visited mom at 5pm, who was in bed, refusing to get up even though I told her I would be making us dinner for the 4th of July. It went okay -- I'm a terrible cook-- I overcooked the hamburgers. Sigh. Mom finally made it out of bed around 7pm.
Maybe I'm just getting used to the "new" Mom, because I was really patient and loving with her, even though she said pretty strange stuff ("I may need to call the police because you didn't bring any bananas") and she asked repetitive questions. I felt good that I could be with her (without getting reactive), and she surprised me by reaching out for my hand and held it during the meal (my mother has never touched me, so these kind of loving gestures are strange to me -- could be that she's frightened, which is why she's reaching out... I just give her what she needs).
I felt like I was visiting my grandmother. That's okay, I guess, if it means that I'm giving her the reassurance and support that she needs.
I felt sad, but also felt good that I did this nice gesture for her and spent the evening together. Dessert was a success (I didn't have to cook it -- LOL).
How are you doing? For those celebrating, how was your holiday?
I visited mom at 5pm, who was in bed, refusing to get up even though I told her I would be making us dinner for the 4th of July. It went okay -- I'm a terrible cook-- I overcooked the hamburgers. Sigh. Mom finally made it out of bed around 7pm.
Maybe I'm just getting used to the "new" Mom, because I was really patient and loving with her, even though she said pretty strange stuff ("I may need to call the police because you didn't bring any bananas") and she asked repetitive questions. I felt good that I could be with her (without getting reactive), and she surprised me by reaching out for my hand and held it during the meal (my mother has never touched me, so these kind of loving gestures are strange to me -- could be that she's frightened, which is why she's reaching out... I just give her what she needs).
I felt like I was visiting my grandmother. That's okay, I guess, if it means that I'm giving her the reassurance and support that she needs.
I felt sad, but also felt good that I did this nice gesture for her and spent the evening together. Dessert was a success (I didn't have to cook it -- LOL).
So sorry to hear about your husband. So hard to see someone we love and recognize shift and morph into someone we didn't plan to meet.
Anger to me, is Expressing Fear. So, perhaps try to figure out what he's frightened by (don't ask him too many questions if he's upset) -- just reassure him he is safe or you are there for him. It must be scary, losing grip on our sense of control and feel a sense of "slipping." I try to put myself in that situation and see how it must feel. A good example is finding something I misplaced, in a really unusual place. I can feel the panic rise as I wonder what the heck I was thinking ... and wonder if I'm next :(
((BIG HUGS)) Let us know how we can help.
That was very nice what you did. I am going to use your advice about comforting.
My father in law recently had no keys for the car (yes he still drives and it scares the crap out of me) and he had my kids with him ( ihad no idea he was going to take them somewhere when I left them with my mil I don't know what is wrong with her). Apparently they were a big help and kept him calm. My son kept saying the fob to the car was in my mil purse and he was right. fil dropped her off at pt and she had it in her purse.