buy some spray bottles, fill them up with water and a dash of perfume and let her have at it. Obsession is normal, her brain telling her that somthing is wrong but it doesn't know what. Give her somthing to focus on that is harmless and safe. if she says that we need to go to the store and buy another one, pull another from the cupbord and refill the old one.

Thanks Carl1961. A good idea. Hey, is there a book or something that you recommend? You seem to have a pretty good grasp of how Dementia works. I feel so clueless.

Even Mom knows something is wrong. She keeps saying, "Do you think this is a test of my faith? I think this is about faith." She repeatedly says that she thinks this must be some kind of joke, that we're in collusion & that this is a set-up.

Thanks.

Amelah, someone recommended the book called "The 36 hour day", I ordered it and received it yester from Amazon,com.
It looks interesting and gives advice, even though I live in Canada, it still gives the basic information we need to help our moms.
My mom obsesses on her banking and is now shredding her mail.
You are not alone, my mom does know something is wrong but is in denial, she keeps saying she's not crazy, no one ever said she was.
I think deep down she knows she's losing something.
hugs, Terry

Don't think for one moment your clueless, you way ahead of the curve. Your getting a lot of good advice and using whas useful to a dynanic situation. Also scientists in brain mapping have found that there is a "faith" center in our brains that has been stimulated +/- in Alzheimer's patients. My wife was effected to the point of being nauseating: She thought our chuch had hired her as a faith healer. The more I learn about this stuff the more I am amazed.

Thank you Jazzkeys & Carl1961. Very helpful to know. I will look up that book this weekend at the book fair!

I had to put Mom in time out tonight. She kept calling me, leaving obsessive messages alternating between my house & cell phone, every minute, for over an hour. I had already drawn my boundary with her when we did talk, but she seems to have lost all impulse control and kept finding reasons to call. She is very manipulative & is probably testing my boundary since I set one in motion (I had to, because she kept calling and calling and calling and calling). Who knows. She has a Dr appt on Monday to get re-evaluated. Still need to get off the damn Ambien.

I just couldn't do it anymore tonight. Reliving my horrible childhood all over again, her constant nagging and obsessing: Wanting this, wanting that, needing this, needing that, when am I showing up, when will I bring this, that...

I disconnected my home answering machine (I almost threw it across the room) and I blocked her calls from my cell phone. The house phones are turned off.

Blissful Silence. . .

She can call my sisters and torment them tonight with her compulsions & obsessions about salad, keys, air freshener, bandaids, eyeglasses, AAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!

Thanks, I needed that.

Amelah, I had to hang up on my mother today at work, she insisted someone was coming in my house and covering up the cat in my bed. I know it sounds crazy.. When I got home she said the neighbour was taking her mail and giving it to me...
She then came over and started calling me a liar and saying I was crazy. Ok maybe I am but I asked , no told her to leave and locked the mother lock on my door (an extra lock I had installed to lock her out).
I will call her and say goodnight but if she starts anything, I will hang up tonight, I know it sounds harsh but enough is enough.
I work tomorrow night and can only imagine what will happen.
I wish I had any family members she could call or that could help.

I wish you had someone to help you, too, Jazz... that's not good, covering up the kitty! >^..^<

As to the neighbors, yeah... my mom keeps trying to knock on the neighbor's doors, but thankfully the aide is there to prevent her. However, we're cutting back on staffing (my sisters' decision; certainly not mine), which means that Mom is going to rattle around in her apartment from 4 pm - 8 am. I do not see this going well. At all.

Perhaps I should get into the psychic business?

I had to disconnect the home answering machine again tonight after numerous calls & block Mom again on the cell phn. I think she's getting the hint. Can't "act out" if there's no audience. Of course, it might get re-directed onto the neighbors. Sigh. At this point, we're looking to get her into assisted living with a dementia unit.

Good grief. HUGS to EVERYONE! TGIF?!

OMG>> I went to the Used Book Fair today (it's to fund the library), which is twice a year. And guess what I found, in pristine condition, for $1.00. "The 36-Hour Day" !!! Brilliant. It is very validating and definitely describes Mom, especially the laundry list in the table of contents:

* Sleep Disturbances
* Worsening in the Evening ("Sundowning")
* Losing, Hoarding, or Hiding Things
* Repetitious Actions
* Distractibility
* Clinging or Persistently Following You Around
* Complaints and Insults
* Demands
* Stubbornness and Uncooperativeness
* When the Person with Dementia Insults the Sitter
* False Ideas, Suspiciousness, Paranoia & Hallucinations...

Man, this list is her to a T! This is what I was trying to understand about the nature of "is it dementia or mental health issues." I think I'll start a new thread on this topic (tho' I'm sure it's been done before).

Thanks for the recommendation, Jazz!