Dementia Support Group
Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be memory, attention, language and problem solving, although particularly in the later stages of the condition, affected persons may be disoriented in time, place and person (not knowing who they...
My heart aches.
Mom was admitted to the hospital due to ongoing health issues. After receiving a blood transfusion and IV fluids, she was as "clear as a bell" yesterday. I couldn't believe it. Gone were the obsessions, compulsions, paranoia, the dementia-like symptoms. We had a normal conversation, lasting 5 hours, as if nothing had ever happened! We watched TV and she discussed the events that were going on in the news with me! (She has been unable to pay attention to any of the news or have any dialogue about it.) She even asked for a newspaper -- Mom hasn't read a newspaper in over a year!
She didn't acknowledge any of this or say anything like, "Gee, I'm feeling so much better today" or "Where have I been?" Although she was surprised to hear that the price of gas was going down and said, "that doesn't make sense -- it's Memorial Day weekend! and summer is coming. That's when gas prices go up!" OMG. Are you kidding me? Then they said on the news that hurricane season already underway ... and Mom asked, "isn't it a bit early for that?" ...before the reporter said "it's a week early." OMG!!! I felt like it was a scene out of "Awakenings." Remember that movie? I tried to tell myself not to expect too much and that things were not going to stay like this, most likely. But it gave me such hope that maybe they were on to something...
Today, Mom did a complete 180 and is in a total backslide. Whereas she was coherent and lucid yesterday, today she is confused, paranoid, not making sense. She thinks she's back home. She is back to looking in her pocketbook for her keys & eyeglasses. She doesn't understand why I am holding onto her wallet while she is in the hospital.
The nurse doesn't know anything (it's always a different nurse, y'know?). She claims Mom was better in the a.m., but mom was confused on the phone this morning, too, when she called me, so what the heck is the nurse talking about?? My sister went to visit Mom around 1:30 pm, and Mom was confused then. People who do not know Mom should not be telling us "she's fine" when their idea of fine is a woman with some kind of cognitive impairment or dementia. Who did not see her in action yesterday.
Dammit. I should know better than to get my hopes up. I almost wish I didn't experience her normalcy yesterday, because it is making it so much harder to deal with this crazy, needy, provoking child today. Who is back to her paranoid, compulsive, obsessive behaviors.
It is nonsensical.
(I do not have power of attorney, so I am not allowed to contact the Drs -- but I hope that I may see one of the Drs tomorrow, when I visiting with Mom... because then we can have a dialogue ...)
Mom was admitted to the hospital due to ongoing health issues. After receiving a blood transfusion and IV fluids, she was as "clear as a bell" yesterday. I couldn't believe it. Gone were the obsessions, compulsions, paranoia, the dementia-like symptoms. We had a normal conversation, lasting 5 hours, as if nothing had ever happened! We watched TV and she discussed the events that were going on in the news with me! (She has been unable to pay attention to any of the news or have any dialogue about it.) She even asked for a newspaper -- Mom hasn't read a newspaper in over a year!
She didn't acknowledge any of this or say anything like, "Gee, I'm feeling so much better today" or "Where have I been?" Although she was surprised to hear that the price of gas was going down and said, "that doesn't make sense -- it's Memorial Day weekend! and summer is coming. That's when gas prices go up!" OMG. Are you kidding me? Then they said on the news that hurricane season already underway ... and Mom asked, "isn't it a bit early for that?" ...before the reporter said "it's a week early." OMG!!! I felt like it was a scene out of "Awakenings." Remember that movie? I tried to tell myself not to expect too much and that things were not going to stay like this, most likely. But it gave me such hope that maybe they were on to something...
Today, Mom did a complete 180 and is in a total backslide. Whereas she was coherent and lucid yesterday, today she is confused, paranoid, not making sense. She thinks she's back home. She is back to looking in her pocketbook for her keys & eyeglasses. She doesn't understand why I am holding onto her wallet while she is in the hospital.
The nurse doesn't know anything (it's always a different nurse, y'know?). She claims Mom was better in the a.m., but mom was confused on the phone this morning, too, when she called me, so what the heck is the nurse talking about?? My sister went to visit Mom around 1:30 pm, and Mom was confused then. People who do not know Mom should not be telling us "she's fine" when their idea of fine is a woman with some kind of cognitive impairment or dementia. Who did not see her in action yesterday.
Dammit. I should know better than to get my hopes up. I almost wish I didn't experience her normalcy yesterday, because it is making it so much harder to deal with this crazy, needy, provoking child today. Who is back to her paranoid, compulsive, obsessive behaviors.
It is nonsensical.
(I do not have power of attorney, so I am not allowed to contact the Drs -- but I hope that I may see one of the Drs tomorrow, when I visiting with Mom... because then we can have a dialogue ...)
One of my most cherished memories of my Mum occurred about this time last year. It was a time of madness. Mum was very demanding, with no insight. She believed everyone else was either crazy or plotting against her. She thought I was mishandling her affairs (I had P.O.A.) and that people were taking advantage of my naivety. She had been railing at me and haranguing me over everything and I was totally exhausted.
She was sitting in her wheelchair and I was sitting on the floor, doing up her shoes when suddenly I felt her hand on my hair. I honestly didn't know whether she was going to pull my hair, or something else, so I looked up. Her eyes were bright and clear and alert. She didn't have that crazy, vacant look and she had stopped drooling.
She said "I love you, you know... and I see what you do. I know everything you do and I love you. Other people don't know the half of what you do but I see it and I know. Don't listen to me. You do what you think is right... and it will be right."
Her speech, which had been very slurred since her stroke, was as clear as a bell and she looked straight into my eyes and held my gaze. A few minutes later, she was gone again.
That few minutes of lucidity kept me going until the end. After that, I was convinced that there was a little bit of my Mum locked away inside. I felt that everything I did was for that little piece of her that was still preserved... even if I didn't have access to it.
She passed away at the end of last August and I never saw the mother I knew and loved again but I treasure that last little glimpse of her. It was so unexpected after several years of craziness and reminded me that there is so much we don't understand about this disease, the human mind or what makes us the unique individuals we are.
Bless you. It's a hard journey for both you and your loved ones but there are still moments to value along the way.
Thanks!
As 36 Hour Day suggests, sometimes dementia-like symptoms can be due to underlying illness. And she's got several.
Sigh.